“You have three types of friends in life: Friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime.” ~ Ziad K. Abdelnour The folks on this porch are some of THE coolest people you could ever have the good fortune to meet. I'm telling you, their life stories are simply fascinating! Here's the thing, if you want to get their stories from their perspective, you'll have to learn to speak their language, and you'll have to be able to keep up with some fast-moving fingers, hands, and arms! Think you're up for it? Trust me, it's challenging......even for me, and American Sign Language is my "first language"! Are you totally confused? Keep reading. Here's the story... These are my parents. I love them with a fierce, protective love that is, quite frankly, beyond what many would deem to be a "normal" daughter-parent bond. That's okay, though, since we are far from "the norm." If this is your first time stopping by The Roomy Nest, you may need a little explanation via backstory. You can find that info in a couple of my previous blogposts here: http://theroomynest.weebly.com/my-blog/my-hero-is-the-strong-silent-type and here: http://theroomynest.weebly.com/my-blog/a-steel-magnolia-hits-70 Go ahead.....read them now. I'll be right here waiting when you get caught up. :) So, you see, bottom line.....my parents are both deaf. They met at a magical place, fell in love, and the rest is history! That magical place, aka, The Georgia School for the Deaf (GSD) in Cave Springs, GA, was also where some lifelong friendships were made with other fascinating human beings much like my parents, and those friendships have been going strong for almost 70 years! In fact, they all lived in South Georgia as neighbors for about 40 of those years, but the separation was necessary when my sister and I moved our parents north several years ago to be closer to family due to Daddy's health issues. While I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do, man, oh, man did I struggle with the decision. In essence, I was moving them away from these dear friends who are, without question, their (and my) 'family' as well. Here's Ann with me and my parents back in the 70s. She is older than Mama & Daddy, and she was in the upper grades at GSD when my Daddy arrived on campus as a six-year-old boy. She had actually graduated and moved on with her life before Mama got there years later, but, clearly, they were meant to be friends because they bonded after they were adults. Trust me when I tell ya', those two women should have been named "Thelma & Louise" for all the mischief they would get into together. :) Ann was married to the love of her life, Roscoe (also deaf), for a very long time. Roscoe is now with our Lord waiting on his beloved to join him there on those Streets of Gold one day. She has two adult sons (both hearing) and four grandsons. These days, Mama & Ann talk to each other on their VRS (Video Relay System....much like Skype) at least once a day. Here she is now... what a beauty....inside & out! Now, here we are with Janice & Clinton (also circa 1975ish)... The similarities between these two couples is remarkable! Daddy and Clinton both started attending/living at GSD as very young boys. Mama and Janice both ended up there as much older teenagers. The men did every sport offered. The girls did "girlie stuff" and batted their flirty eyelashes at their boyfriends. :) These days, Janice & Clinton are retired (Clinton worked at the same Post Office with my Daddy for many, many years) and they have three adult children...all hearing...and several grandchildren as well. Here they are now.... "A thing is mighty big when time and distance cannot shrink it." ~Zora Neale Hurston A couple of weeks ago, these sweet folks were all able to spend a few days together when the South Georgians made the drive to see their "friends up north" and oh, what a great time of reunion it was! They ate, they talked (hands were flying, by the way), and I watched them have a wonderful visit. We even took them on a mini-field trip around our stomping grounds. Take a look... Those BFFs even tried their hand with a Selfie Stick! Fun! :) "True friends never apart....maybe in distance, but never in heart." ~Helen Keller I am who I am, in large part, due to these people and the amazing influence they've had on my life. I don't know anyone more courageous than these dear folks. I would like to hope that if God ever chooses to take something away from me....my hearing....my sight.....that I'd have the strength and grace to move on with my life-- always seeking the positives-- like these five people have done their entire lives. They ARE the definition of "Super Heroes" in my book! “No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth.” ― Robert Southey So, Janice, Clinton, Ann, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for making the trip to see Mama & Daddy! It means SO much to us that you cared enough to come! You are our family! I love you more than you know! ...and for you, dear Reader, thanks for stopping by! Cherish your friendships....let them know how important they are to you. Also, let's remember to always give thanks to our God every single day for His Blessings in our lives. They are all around us. We just need to stop long enough to realize it. Until next time, ~Dot
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"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new." ~Socrates I have pondered this post long and hard over the last few days. Until just this morning, I had fully intended to use it as a vehicle to explain in vivid detail the reasons for my total emotional meltdown on Christmas Day. So, basically, I was planning to "fight the old" (see quote above). However, in light of what I can only assume is Divine Intervention from my God, I have decided to spare you the misery. (It wasn't pretty.....just ask my husband and children.) Nope, not pretty at all. So...I'm choosing to start this new year (after my three month hiatus from The Roomy Nest) discussing my new focus for 2015...... me. Sound selfish? Maybe. Here's the deal... "Ego says, 'Once everything falls into place, I'll feel peace.' Spirit says, 'Find your peace, and then everything will fall into place.'" ~ Marianne Williamson There are only a VERY small handful of people that might possibly be reading this that know me....really, truly know me. The rest of you don't. You may think you do, but you're wrong. You don't. I have always, always, always put everyone else before myself. From the earliest memories I have as a little girl, it's always been about making things better for others...... fixing things for others... doing for others.... my handicapped parents, my sister, friends, church. Nothing changed as I got older....just more folks added to that list....husband, children, extended family, work, community. I was taught at a very young age by the godly women that raised me to be selfless and "do for others." It was an expectation (and also a tad bit innate), therefore I did it. Period. Many times in my life it has brought me abundant joy. Other times, it has brought me immense resentment. (Just being 100% honest here.) Needless to say, along with resentment (and a whole grocery list of other negative emotions) comes a tremendous lack of peace in one's life. So..... for 46 years I have searched (and longed) for that seemingly unattainable peace. Now, hold on..... before you go preaching me a mini-sermon, please know this. I printed and framed this bit of Scripture years ago, and it has been a constant fixture in our kitchen ever since. I read it DAILY when I am standing at the sink, and there have been seasons of my life when I, quite literally, chanted it aloud as a continuous source of emotional strength to keep those pesky demons at bay. My God is, without question, my Ultimate Peace, and I long for the day that I get to experience it for all eternity with Him. Unfortunately, I'm still battling some demons here on earth, so my day-to-day inner peace seems to be a constant roller coaster ride. In fact, since my Christmas meltdown, I have asked my God to PLEASE give me some clear direction, and I believe He has, thus giving me a new sense of internal peace. For the first time in my life (In.My.Life.), I think God is giving me His Permission to put myself first. I'm hearing Him clearly say that it's okay to shift the focus.... to me. Wait....what??! This is quite foreign to me, and yet SO VERY LIBERATING!! I almost don't know where to start! I can tell you this.... we're not talking about an occasional "long soak in a bubble bath" kind of "me time." Nope. That's not what I'm thinking at all. No, this New Year's Day is bringing with it a brand-new guilt-free ideology. "Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy. If you aren't being treated with love and respect, check your price tag. Maybe you've marked yourself down. It's YOU who tells people what your worth is. Get off of the clearance rack and get behind the glass where they keep the valuables." ~Author Unknown (I LOVE that quote, by the way... A BIG fist-bump to "author unknown" for that one!) So, effective immediately, I resolve to be good to myself..... to give myself the same respect I have given everyone else. I'm going to take my own feelings into account when deciding if I'll do this or that. It may mean that I don't answer the phone when it rings. It may mean that I don't attend the event/gathering/get-together. It may mean that I <gasp!> say "no" when asked to do something of a volunteer nature. The key word here is "may" because I MAY say yes on occasion as well, but it'll be because I sincerely wanted to do so...not because of a ridiculous self-imposed obligation. I'm SO done with being used and tossed aside 'til next time. It's not a good feeling, and it just isn't something I'm willing to put up with any longer. Clearly, to get better I'm going to have to let go of some things that bring me down (WAY down) every single time I'm involved in them. I'm making that promise to myself right now. It may very well mean that some of my relationships shift (or even dissolve), but that'll be okay, too, because I believe God will use this to help me have an even clearer focus on the realities of my life. "Do your thing and don't care if they like it." ~Tina Fey This is my thing.... .....and some of this.... .....and, of course, this..... .....which sometimes produces this..... .....and, without question, these folks always bring me immense joy.... So, that's where I'll be focusing my energy this year. Who knows....I may even start another round of #100HappyDays, too. Yep, 2015.....definitely a year to look forward to! Happy New Year to you, but also......to me! ;) ~D "There is little success where there is little laughter." ~Andrew Carnegie This picture was taken by Mercer Harris back in 1997. Chelsea was five and Trey was two. This is one of my most favorite pictures of our children. They just look so incredibly happy. I think Mercer's wife was blowing bubbles or something, and Trey was just beside himself with laughter. See? He's even holding his belly. :) Even Chelsea (who was very grownup at the ripe old age of 5) seemed to be enjoying the silliness. I also love that they are holding hands. They might have been told to do so, but it looks pretty genuine to me. Our kids have had that age-old "love/hate sibling relationship" over the years, but I really DO believe they love each other deep down. They are very different in many ways, but one thing they do well together is laugh. In fact, the four of us as a family always seem to throw laughter into the mix at some point. I think that's why we actually enjoy being together........silly, sarcastic, back & forth dialogue that, at times, literally has me holding my own belly of laughter! Someone said recently in a Facebook post that we need to come up with a comedy routine. My husband's reply was that we are just a "family of improv," and I think he's absolutely correct! There's rarely a dull moment when we all get together. I agree with the quote above. I believe we are a very successful family. No, I'm not talking about "having stuff"......not that kind of success. I'm talking about being the kind of successful family that actually wants to spend time together, simply enjoying each other's company.....laughing. I thank God for blessing me with children that still (at 19 and 22 years old) want to hang out with their old Mom and Dad. I hope they will always want to be in each other's lives as well. They've been fortunate (or not so much depending on what day you ask them) to attend the same college and live in the same town for a bit. However, once Big Sis completes this Masters program, she'll be flying out even further on her own to build yet another nest for herself, and they are going to have to make the time to see each other. I hope they'll make the effort. I pray they will. "There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor." ~Charles Dickens So, do you have laughter in your life? I sure hope so. If not, I'm praying you find something to give you that good ol' belly laugh soon!
Until next time, ~D I've got a small library of fitness videos in our basement. Maybe you have a similar collection yourself. You know the ones I mean.....that one that helps you "shape up with weights"........or how about that one that promises to get you "bikini ready fast!" Yep. I've got a lot of them. In fact, some were purchased so long ago that they are of the VHS variety. The problem is that none of them have ever really held my attention or kept me excited about the workout process, and I've ended up assigning a permanent place on the shelf for each one of them where they are now gathering dust. So, when I decided to take a break from my personal training sessions at the gym recently, I knew I was going to have to find something to help me stay focused and motivated to work towards some specific goals on my own at home. After reading plenty of online suggestions, I decided to give this one a whirl...... My husband and I used to watch every single episode of The Biggest Loser, so I felt like I knew Jillian Michael's "gym personality" pretty well. She definitely seems motivational .......plus, do you see that phrase at the top of the cover?? "Lose up to 20 pounds in 30 days!" Um....yep...say no more! I'm in! (It's those very small but very important key words: "up to"..... that I failed to realize in the beginning.) Nonetheless, let the shredding begin! So, I started on a Tuesday........ July 1, 2014. Before I turned the DVD player on for the first time, I decided to take my "before" measurements in hopes that I would see some desired changes in the "after" ones 30 days down the road. I also took a "before" picture of myself, but I don't dare post it here. Just suffice it to say, I had a few extra rolls that I really wanted to get rid of! Cute on this guy, but not so much on me!....... The plan for the 30 Day Shred was pretty simple. The DVD had three levels. I was to do the workout at each one of those levels until I felt ready to progress to the next level. I decided to go ahead and label my calendar with 10 days for each level and mark them off as I completed each day. Well, while it wasn't a cakewalk, I DID get through Level 1 with minimal pain. Here's a shot of my calendar...... See? Looks easy enough, right? I did find it pretty ironic that while the "Warning" screen at the beginning of the video says this.... Line 7: "If you feel discomfort or pain, do not continue.," ......our girl, Jillian says this........ .....and so I did just that.......to Level 2....... Level 2, Day 1 was hard, but for some reason, Level 2, Day 2 was even worse! For the first time in this 30 Day Shred I started thinking about just rolling up my mat and going upstairs for good. The best part of putting your fitness business out there in Cyberville for the world to see is the built-in accountability it provides. I didn't want to be a quitter, so......I decided NOT to roll up my mat! Unfortunately, the next several weeks weren't quite as smooth for me. Doctor appts. for myself and my parents, trips out of town, and, most importantly, a HUGE family loss on July 14th took away my desire to focus on my workout schedule for a bit. Even so, I DID finally complete Level 2 eighteen days after I started it. I started Level 3 on July 30th. Knowing that I was starting the very busy pre-planning schedule of an educator the very next day, I tried my best to keep myself mentally & physically accountable each evening when I got home from work. That was MUCH harder to do than getting it done in the mornings as I had done with the first two levels. Also, Level 3 was SUPER hard for me! Therefore, I wasn't just skipping down to the basement every night now. That's for sure! Here's the good news: I COMPLETED the 30 Day Shred last night! Sure, it took me 46 days to do it, but hey, the point is....I finished the drill! Here's the bad news: I didn't lose any weight. Well, maybe a pound or two, but certainly not "20". Remember those two words "up to"? Yep. I'm learning that it's all about word choice in these DVD descriptions. I must confess that some of these things may have played a part in this bad news...... But, guess what....... I'm not even remotely sorry for any of those treats. They were all part of these #100happydays I'm also putting focus on in my life right now, and they served their purpose well! I have no doubt about the effort I've brought to this process. I know I've pushed myself to give it all I have every single time I've fired up the DVD player. I actually DO feel more toned. My clothes seem to fit a little better, and that's really why I started this process in the beginning. Remember those measurements I took the very first day? Well, I took them again last night after I did my "I DID IT!" happy dance. Here's the deal: I've lost 1" in my waist, 1/2" in my hips, 2" in my left thigh, and 1 1/4" in my right thigh. (I actually GAINED 1/2" in my "chest area", but my husband thinks that's a great place to gain, so......) Now, those numbers may seem extremely insignificant to you, but I was pleasantly surprised to see this since there was almost no weight loss. In fact, I'm so proud of myself for these results, I went out today and bought myself a reward. Wanna' see it? I may not be totally "shredded," but I'm about to embark on a new journey..... to get "ripped." I'll let you know how it turns out. Wish me luck! ;)
Until next time, ~Dot "A sheltered life can be a daring life as well. For all serious daring starts from within." ~Eudora Welty In honor of this big vacation week here in our small town when everyone (except the Rutherfords) heads to the beach, I give you..... "Dot's First Beach Trip!" I've said it before here at The Roomy Nest, and I'll say it again: I had a very sheltered childhood. Take a look at the picture for today's Monday Memory. It's probably circa 1972 or 1973 since I look to be about 4 or 5. My great-aunt Mattie Bell probably has my left hand in a death grip while I hold Winnie (yes, "the Pooh") in my own right-handed death grip. I can almost feel her manicured fingernails digging into my flesh! :) The other two protectors are my great-aunt/uncle Vernon & Bud. The photographer of this shot was my great-aunt Polly. (Mattie Bell, Vernon, and Polly were sisters of my grandfather.) I spent LOTS of time with these people growing up, and they had a HUGE influence on my life. This beach trip was an extremely rare occurrence, and, clearly, they were afraid of the dangerous possibilities since I had never been exposed to the ocean before. Thus, they circled the wagons around to protect me from possible drowning in ankle-deep water or the sharks that might have me for a midday snack. (#sarcasm). :) In all seriousness, I love this picture because it sums up my entire childhood/teen years in one single image. These people loved me, took care of me, taught me, and protected me from most everything you can imagine. Some of those things were warranted while others have been things I've had to face as an adult for the first time in my life. They kept a constant circle of protection around me which, in some ways, has crippled me as an adult as I've tried to wade through the waters of life. I know they meant well, and I'll be eternally grateful for them as long as I live, but I've tried to raise my own children a bit differently in some respects. I believe children must be allowed to face some things in life as early as possible and find a way to deal with them. After all, one day, they'll look around to realize the folks that encircled them with that fierce sense of love & protection are no longer around to do it. That's when the rubber REALLY meets the road! I should know. You probably do, too. "My heritage has been my grounding, and it has brought me peace." ~Maureen O'Hara I think of these precious people quite often in my day-to-day life, and I miss them terribly! There are so many things I'd love to be able to share with them now. Polly & Bud died when I was a young girl, Vernon died not long after I got married, and my sweet Mattie Bell left this earth just 4 1/2 years ago. I know that I wouldn't be the woman I am today (the good and the not-so-good) without their influence in my life. Thank you, God, for including them in Your Plan for my life! What a huge blessing! Until next time,
~D "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be." ~Abraham Lincoln I've made up my mind. I'm on a mission. Today's the day. I'm claiming my share of happiness. I'm focusing on it. Here's the deal.... I've made it abundantly clear recently that I'm struggling in this thing called life. (Feel free to go back and read all about it in previous posts right here on my blog if you're confused or curious.) However, unlike some folks who I believe really DO enjoy being miserable, I am NOT striving for a life of complaining, misery, and hopelessness! I long for joy, and I know in my heart my God intends for me to have my fair share. In fact, I believe He's already blessed me with it. I've just got to be more aware of it in my everyday life and put my focus there. Make sense? I know what you're thinking. "Well, duh, Dot!" Yeah, maybe so, but it's finally starting to make some sense to me personally so I find it to be a fantastic epiphany of sorts. Here's the best part............... As soon as I started to think this way, I started seeing something happening. Reminders of happiness started popping up everywhere! It's kind of like when you get pregnant and suddenly every woman you see on the street is also pregnant.......or you buy that awesome car that nobody else in your little town has only to realize that (well, I'll be!) there are not one, but two more just like yours scootin' around the streets in the same exact color! Yeah, it was like that. One "sign" in particular started popping up daily on my Facebook wall. I have a new friend that I met just short of a year ago at a Mercer tailgate. She and her group were set up next to us, and as fate would have it, I discovered that she's my sorority sister! Granted she's a MUCH younger sister, but we're both Chi Omegas (Psi Gamma Chapter) nonetheless! Anyway, this dear sister was posting a picture every day on her wall and it always had a hashtag saying something like "#Day87 #100HappyDays" . I was intrigued! I figured she must be reading some sort of self-help book or subscribing to a specific blog maybe. So, I messaged her and got the full scoop. She referred me to a website: http://www.100happydays.com/ As she put it to me......... This international movement's mission is simple: to consciously pursue happiness every single day, even if it's something small. So, I went to the site, took the pledge (registered) and today is "#Day1" for me! :) "Don't wait around for other people to be happy for you. Any happiness you get you've got to make yourself." ~Alice Walker The concept is right up my alley for three reasons: 1) It's very simple to participate in, 2) It's all about taking pictures and posting them, and 3) It is NOT a competition or about "showing off". It's quite simple. Every day for 100 days, I'll simply submit a picture of what made me happy that day. It can be anything........ getting a Blizzard at the DQ drive-thru with my husband........ taking a solitary nature walk...... trying out a new recipe......hanging poolside with a dear friend. The main idea is to get myself in the mindset of concentrating on the happiness that IS already in place in my life and drawing strength from it. While it seems pretty simplistic to you, I'm sure, I am so excited to get started! So.... 100 Days of Happiness, here I come! Now, I won't necessarily be posting a picture every single day here on my blog, but I WIll be documenting the happiness daily on my social media accts............ Instagram, Facebook, etc. Much like a weightloss journey, it's a way to keep me accountable to myself. I'm REALLY praying that changing my mindset in this way will overflow into other areas of my life as well. Time will be the best indicator. Corny as it may sound, I have a really good feeling about this. One of my favorite go-to verses in my Bible is Jeremiah 29:11, but lately, I hear it on constant replay over and over and over in my head. God is in this with me and I feel certain this is the road He wants me to take right now. So, can I be happy for 100 days in a row? We're about to find out. I'm going to go ahead and predict that the answer is yes!
Until next time, ~Dot Other than the occasional "Monday Memory" and/or "Wednesday's Word," I've been MIA with this whole blogging thing lately. Here's why...... Writer's Block = an inability to write; "He had writer's block; the words wouldn't come" Yep. I definitely have it....writer's block. Well, actually, that's not true. I think it's more like "feeler's block" because I am most certainly in a funk these days. Due to said "funk," I really just don't know what to say. I try very hard to stay "positive"......"upbeat"......dare I say even "peppy" in these blog posts on The Roomy Nest, but the truth is that sometimes I just simply don't feel positive, upbeat, and most certainly NOT peppy! So, what's a blogger to do?? Is it okay to post <GASP!> negative thoughts/feelings for the world to see? I've decided the answer is..... yes. (Besides, let's face it, no one (besides my close family) is reading my blog anyway, so no real worries there.) Here's the deal.... plain and simple.....I'm tired. Sure, I'm tired physically. (What educator isn't on the last few days of the school year?) Beyond the physical, though, I am tired in other ways, too. Mainly, I am SO VERY tired of wearing the "life is peachy" mask. Upon reading this, anyone who knows me (or even THINKS they know me) would probably say, "What in the world has SHE got to be down and out about?! There are plenty of folks in the world......many right here in our little town......who have it MUCH harder than she does!" Believe me when I say, I have wrestled with LOTS of guilt over this very idea! Nonetheless, I'm just not in a good place right now. "And I always think of life like a giant wave. You know, it rises and it crests and it flies, and it's just magnificent, and then it crashes. And for a lot of people, when it crashes, that's the end, and they go down the deep, dark hole of depression." Now, let me be perfectly clear, I haven't "crashed" this time. I can say this with certainty because I HAVE crashed twice before in my life. I know what it feels like for me. Neither time was pretty, and both involved very intense therapy and a slow "digging out" process. I DO believe, though, that there are various levels of depression, and I have been living at one level or another for the majority of my life. This time, I'm just......well.....sad. Really sad. I cry.....a lot. Weird, I know, and I cannot for the life of me figure out what triggered it this time, but I also can't seem to shake it. I am honestly starting to think there may be some genetics involved here. It stinks. A lot. So, what's the deal? Is this the proverbial "mid-life crisis" everyone talks about? Maybe. After all, I'm 46 years old. When you double that number, you get 92. I'll be extremely lucky to make it to that age, but, hey, other women in my family have done it (and actually lived a few years beyond that!) So, sure, I'm definitely at my "mid-life" point. However, I have no desire to trade in my VW for a snazzy convertible. I'm not looking to ditch my husband for someone else. I'm not even interested in changing my hairstyle. As I try to think through this mess, I DO know that I'm disappointed with myself in several different areas of my life. So, maybe that's it. This summer break, I hope to find some inner peace by facing these personal issues head-on and dealing with them. As crazy as this may sound, lately, I feel kind of "numb." Many days I feel as if I'm watching my life happen outside of myself. I'm present.....but then again, I'm not. It's a very lonely and confusing place to be. In addition, I am plenty disappointed with other people......... in their words as well as in their actions.......... and the older I get, the more I find that I simply cannot nor will not tolerate self-absorbed hypocrites. I live in a very small town. For the most part, everyone knows everyone else....and their business. I made a decision recently that has been quite liberating. If a person is my "friend" on Facebook or other social media (maybe even liking my post here, commenting on my picture there) yet cannot acknowledge me in public then I remove them from my cyber-life as well. It feels good to unload the dead weight. It feels REAL good, and I find I'm deleting a few more every single day lately. I'm also done with people who say one thing, yet do not follow through. For many of them, I believe they never truly intended to do what they said in the first place, so why even put it out there for me to plan for?! I'm not a fan of lip service! Please keep you word! It's just that simple! Sadly, these ideas apply to extended family that do not live in my small town as much as they do with local people in general. I'm also growing VERY tired of trying so hard to please and yet seldom being acknowledged or appreciated for what I do (and that's across the board in my life as well.......family, friends, workplace.....) It makes me really start to wonder "why bother?" which is NOT my usual selfless tendency at all! I'm currently reading a book entitled The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. It's all about this woman's one-year quest to find the true secret to happiness. I find a lot of the book a bit on the hokey side. Some of her suggestions just make this ol' girl want to roll her eyes. I mean, come on...."sing in the morning"........."find time to be silly"......"read memoirs of catastrophe"....?? I get it. Once again, I just need to "smile and be happy" because a lot of people (presently as well as throughout history) have had a much harder life than me. Wish it was that easy. I'm pretty sure if all it took was for me to sing a tune and flash my pearly whites to have inner happiness I would have already done it by now. The book DOES have some suggestions worth considering. "Enjoy now," "Forget about results," "Stimulate the mind in new ways," "Find an area of refuge".......... All very good suggestions. In addition, I have been a praying woman for as long as I can remember. I have long talks with my God quite often. Lately, I find myself digging deeper into my prayer life......really asking Him for his Divine Guidance, but the fact remains.........for now, I'm struggling. "The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." ~M. Scott Peck Bottom line, I am struggling to find my PURPOSE. If you read back through my blog posts over the last year, you'll understand that this is why I started this blog to begin with. After our nest got "roomy" last summer and I did some soul-searching, I thought I was beginning to have that new purpose figured out, but turns out I might have been mistaken. Time will tell, I guess. If you pray, I ask that you include me in your prayers, asking our God to restore joy and peace to my heart. I desperately want Him to show me what my purpose is in this next chapter of my life. In the meantime, I'm going to try my best to just let the world think "I'm fine." That's all anyone really wants to hear anyway. Right? Keep this in mind, though. Just because a person says they are fine doesn't make it so.
Until next time, ~Dot "We don't stop going to school when we graduate." This picture was taken on June 10, 1990 right after my graduation ceremony from Mercer University in Macon, GA (Go Bears!) . I had just earned a B.A. in Early Childhood Education, was getting married in a little over a month, and thought I had my life all figured out....at the ripe old age of 22 years old. Wow! Carol Burnett sure knew what she was talking about in the quote above. The graduate in that picture still had LOTS to learn about life! Twenty-four years later, I am STILL "going to school" every single day.......figuratively & literally. I've earned two more degrees since this picture: a M.Ed. & Ed.S. both from UGA (Go Dawgs!!) and I have just completed my 24th year working in the field of education, so that's the literal part. However, figuratively, I also continue to be "schooled" every single day in this thing called life. Lesson after lesson after lesson has been learned in my roles as a Christian, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend, an employee....well, you get the idea. Some of these lessons were easy while others have been VERY difficult! So, during this "graduate season," I think it's very fitting and timely to be reminded that we don't ever truly stop learning, nor should we want to! As life goes on, we begin to realize that it's one big spiral and connections are often made from past.....to present....to future. In fact, one day you may be uploading recent pictures from your camera and realize that old things become new again! In the picture above, I am the 22 year old college grad and my parents are 46 and 48. In the picture below, our college grad is 22....and my husband and I are both 46 (He's on his way to 47, but we'll let that part slide for now.) :) So, at the risk of sounding like a movie trailer for a Lion King sequel, it truly IS a circle of life! I haven't stopped learning yet, and I feel certain that our daughter will experience this same epiphany one day herself........in fact, she may have already figured it out! Until next time,
~Dot "Generations pass like leaves fall from our family tree. Each season new life blossoms and grows benefiting from the strength and experience of those who went before." ~Heidi Swapp This picture was taken in early 1992, just a few weeks after our daughter Chelsea was born. It is a very important picture to me because it documents the fact that Chelsea marked the fifth living generation maternally & paternally in our family. The three women behind my husband are his mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. In turn, the three women behind me hold those same spots in my life. We actually missed having three sets of 5 generations by a few months. My husband's other great-grandmother died while I was pregnant with Chelsea. It is incredible to me to think that Chelsea was surrounded by so much experience, strength, wisdom and love as a newborn baby! What an awesome gift! I DO remember this day very well because it was a rare occurrence to have all of these people in the same place at the same time. Also, because Chelsea was NOT having a good day. (Thus, my "harried" look of photo anxiety.) :) Three women in this picture have since left this earth, but their legacies live on with each generation that comes behind them! Thank you, God, for Chelsea's (and our son's) family tree! Until next time,
~D "Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us." ~Mary Lucas (a character in Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice) I've recently completed this book for the very first time. I know what you're thinking......"It's a classic. Surely you had to read it in high school." Nope. Somehow, I missed this one along the way. Well, recently my husband and I watched a movie entitled "Becoming Jane," and it left me totally wanting more about the author Jane Austen. So, for once in my life, a movie was actually a catalyst for reading a book! (It's usually the other way around!) Now, I don't mind telling you that while I do love a good love story (which I was really banking on this being, by the way...), I had a very difficult time plowing through all of that "old-world language". I mean we're talking "Aye" this...and "Nay" that. I found myself re-reading paragraphs several times thinking....."what did that even mean?!" However, it didn't take me long to realize that Miss Austen has got some pretty witty bits of wisdom throughout this story, and I found myself wanting to hold a highlighter as I was reading in order to bring those ideas to the surface for further examination. The quote at the top of this post is just such an idea. I agree with Jane Austen. Some folks do consider the two terms synonymous, but, like her, I think they are quite isolated from each other. Allow me to explain.......... Let's start with the concept of "vanity." DISCLAIMER: I'm probably going to step on some toes here, but there are some things that just need to be said. (Don't worry. I step on my own toes later on in this post!) I fear that vanity has reached an all-time high among our society these days. There's nothing wrong with loving yourself. I get that. Truly I do! Low self-esteem is the worst! Everyone needs to feel special in his/her own way. However, from what I see these days, the problem isn't LOW self-esteem...it's an ABUNDANCE of self-esteem! Look familiar? Of course it does. In fact, the idea is so commonplace now that there's an entry in the dictionary for it! Okay, so everyone has done a "selfie" at one time or another in the last decade or so of social networking, but ...... come on....every single day??!! That's a problem! The more I think about it, though, I'm not sure if it shows an abundance of self-esteem or a serious lack of it. At any rate, I think it's ridiculous to have that much vanity. Pride is one thing. Sure, post that occasional selfie if you must, but being so vain that it's automatically assumed everyone else is waiting with extreme anticipation for your next selfie post is just too much. Jane (Austen) was right....vanity truly IS what we would have others think of us. The problem comes when others DON'T think of us the way we would hope. Take care not to push yourself onto others too much. You could do more damage than good. Let's move on to the idea of "pride" because this one can be problematic as well. According to Jane, pride also relates to how we feel about ourselves, which sounds a lot like vanity, right? The difference between the two is what you do with those feelings. She says that vanity obsesses over what OTHERS think while pride is more concerned with how we view OURSELVES. So, what about the selfie that was taken and posted because you want the world to see that you've worked hard and lost those extra 25 pounds? Is that okay? I say, absolutely! The problem comes when you post pics of that new body over...and over.....and over. That's when it would seem that the bridge has been crossed from the land of pride over to the land of vanity! As promised, allow me to step on my own toes for a second. I've become pretty well-versed in using this lately........ Yep......that's 'hashtag/proud mama.' I use it a lot at the end of a Facebook or Instagram picture post. As I really ponder the focus of this post though, I have to wonder........are people as tired of my "#proudmama" posts as I am of their duckfaced selfies? Maybe.......probably. I guess the only justification I have for myself is that I'm braggin' on my children....not myself. Does that make it okay? Honestly, I'm not sure, but I can tell you this for certain: NOTHING brings out the pride in me more than my children. They are, without question, my greatest accomplishments, and I cannot seem to stop myself from telling the whole world about their achievements. In fact, I'll go a step further and really tell the hard truth. I DO want others to know just how great I believe my children are! So, does that make me vain. Yes. Therefore, I'm just as guilty as the next guy. Ouch! My toes hurt! ;) Bottom line is this: Anything done in excess is not only repetitive and loses its significance, but it also gets on people's last nerves! So, go easy on the vanity...and the pride! Jane Austen was a very wise author, but so was C.S. Lewis! We would all do well to heed some of his wisdom as well: Let's be proud of ourselves (and our children)! Let's just try not to shout it from the social media rafters 24/7. Until next time, ~Dot P.S. ....but I really AM a #proudmama! Sorry.....old habits die hard! ;) "Happiness is a warm puppy." ~Charles M. Schulz Here's today's Monday Memory. That little girl with the ever-present middle-part pigtailed hairdo is me. From the gorgeous azaleas behind me, you can tell it's Spring-time in South Georgia! I'm holding my new puppy, Snoopy! Yes, I realize I'm holding him like a baby. You have to understand that having my very own pet was a brand-new concept to me, and I had absolutely no idea what to do with him. All I knew was that I was SO happy! I was an only child FOREVER (well, I finally got my "real-life baby doll" .......a.k.a. my sister Heather..... when I was eleven) and Snoopy was my very best friend for a LONG time! He was a present to me on my 6th birthday, and, as only my luck would be, Snoopy died on my 16th birthday. Yes, ON the actual day! Did I mention my birthday is March 13th? Anyway, Snoopy was smart, sweet, funny, and most definitely patient! I mean, it looks like I'm choking him in picture #2, but I think I just wanted him to look at the camera. Like I said....a very patient dog! :) These days, I'm pretty partial to this pup, but I'll always remember my first (and only) childhood dog Snoopy. He'll forever have a special place in my heart! Until next time, ~Dot "I don't believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at." ~Maya Angelou My sister and I are 11 years apart. (Guess that's pretty obvious from the picture, huh? I'm the older one, by the way.) If you follow my blog at all, you know by now that I have a terrible memory. In fact, 95% of my "Monday Memory" posts are really not memories for me at all...and yet, I'm in the pictures! Weird! Well, THIS is one memory I DO remember VERY well. My great-aunts took us to Albany to an Olan Mills studio in order to surprise our Mama with this (and other) marvelous "portraits" (seen below) for Christmas. As you see, I have on a lovely valour pullover and a gold chain straight from one of their costume jewelry boxes. Clearly, I wasn't at the proper age to wear a stitch of makeup....what a shame. Heather, on the other hand, is just as pretty as can be. This was just moments before she threw up all of her baby formula covering the entire white smocked Feltman brothers dress she has on. .....or wait....maybe this is right AFTER the throw-up. That would explain our ridiculous "pose". (I mean, she's six inches shy of being UNDER the "carpet table"!) Anyway, as I recall, Mama WAS surprised on Christmas morning and loved the pictures. Guess that's all that counts. Yep, Maya Angelou was right......Sisterhood IS something that has to be worked at. It's definitely a continuous work in progress. Eleven years difference used to be a BIG chasm...now....not so much. We're just two adults......sharing an eternal bond......I'm sure she'd agree that some days are easier than others, but we're making it. Ah.....Olan Mills.....gotta love it. :)
Until next time, ~Dot So, it's Wednesday.....and that means I need to spotlight a word from our vocabulary, but today.....<heavy sigh>.....it's a toss-up, so......without further ado, I give you Wednesday's Words. Yep....plural...two of 'em. exasperate [ig-zas-puh-reyt] verb, To irritate or provoke to a high degree; annoy extremely. hypocrite [hip-uh-krit] noun, a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc., that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs. So, there you have it. My two words for this Wednesday. Oh, and also, I found a good quote as well, so I'll leave you with it.... "Kids have what I call a built-in hypocrisy antenna that comes up and blocks out what you're saying when you're being a hypocrite." ~Benjamin Carson I daresay some adults have this super-cool "built-in antenna" as well. Sorry to be so blunt today, but enough is enough. Praying for a better tomorrow! Until next time,
~Dot "A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?" ~Albert Einstein Ever since I discovered this photo of myself some years back, I have always called it the "Crazy Dot" picture. I mean, seriously, what else would you call it?? Look at me...I look....well....crazy, right? As with many other "memories" I post, I have NO recollection of this moment in time. From studying the photo, here's what I DO know...... I'm squatting behind my Great-Aunt Mattie Bell. My Mama is holding my cousin, Taylor. Taylor is looking at me because I've clearly lost my mind! I'm holding a pink brush and, as usual, someone has decided to style my hair with those horrible pigtails...complete with plastic white barrettes.......oh, and let's not forget that ever-present MIDDLE-part! (why? WHY???) We're sitting on a lovely brown plaid couch (hello, 1970s!) having a grand ol' time. Quick question.....would someone please tell me why everyone else has on "day clothes" and I'm still sporting my PJs?? <heavy sigh....> Like I said......"Crazy Dot." I chose this picture as today's Monday Memory because I must admit that I kinda' feel like Crazy Dot looks. I think she's "crazy" in a good kind of way. You know, the "deliriously happy......so happy she just can't get herself together" kind of way. That sums me up today. You see, I work in a high school, and today marks the first official day of our Spring Break! Woohoo!! What are my plans, you ask? Here's the best part........I have NO plans!!! Crazy, right? I LOVE a vacation with no plans. I just do what I want....when I want...how I want. In fact, if you stop by my house this week, you may just see me in my PJs.......sportin' some pigtails...... (But you can forget that middle-part! That ain't happenin'!)
What are YOUR plans for the week? Don't really have any? Sweet! Those are the best kind! :) Until next time, ~Dot “Don't you wish you could take a single childhood memory and blow it up into a bubble and live inside it forever?” Well, referring to the quote above, I don't know about living in this particular memory forever. I mean..... it would appear that I don't have all of my teeth in this picture, and it also seems that I either need to let the hem out of those pants or invest in some a little longer. However, I DO have some very fond memories that go along with this picture. I loved this bike so much. Growing up, I lived next-door to my great-aunts, and this is their yard. That "bald patch" of yard behind me is where they parked the cars. For a long time, I was only allowed to ride my bike IN this yard or mine......but NEVER....EVER under any circumstances was I to go into the street. (It must be noted that our street was not THAT "busy", but I was protected to the max growing up!) I thought I was big stuff riding this bike.....with my little basket on the front. It also had a banana seat and, at one time, it had colorful streamer/tassel things hanging down from each handle, but apparently, they came off at some point. One day, I'm not exactly sure when, after much persuasion on my part, I was finally allowed to ride down the circular driveway <GASP!> into the street......and right back onto the other end of the driveway. I was probably on the actual street for a grand total of approximately fifty feet, but it was the most glorious fifty feet anyone could ever travel! I know it sounds ridiculous, but I'm telling you it was absolutely liberating! Well, those days are long gone, but anytime I embark on a new adventure in my life, I can still hear my great-aunts saying "you have GOT to careful, Dot! Folks are crazy in this world!" These are the memories that simultaneously make me smile and drive me nuts! Those precious women are all gone from this earth now, but I have to wonder......what would they say about this adventure................ Until next time,
~Dot |
AuthorHi! I'm Dot. I refuse to succumb to the "empty nest syndrome"! So, this is my journal.....my photo album.....my attempt to enjoy the next chapter of my life as it unfolds. Welcome to The Roomy Nest! Archives
January 2020
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