I had a revelation recently. Why do we wait until the people we love have left this earth before we honor them with kind words of respect and a timeline of their life events? Seriously. Have you ever thought about that? Too often, we hear "I didn't know he did that! He could have taught me more about it." or "Wow! I wish I had known she was a part of that! I would love to have heard about it from her own memories" , but unfortunately we usually hear (or say) these words as people are leaving a memorial service. Well, that revelation of mine happened last weekend. No, we didn't attend a memorial service. We were celebrating my Daddy's birthday..... 72 years of a remarkable life! As I was looking over the pictures I took of him, ready to make my annual Facebook post, it occurred to me........ People need to know my Daddy and his incredible life story! So, with that in mind, let me tell you about my Hero. He's truly the "strong, silent type." Let me explain............ "A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." ~Christopher Reeve Kerry R. Thomas was born in a small South Georgia town on October 5, 1941. He was the third of seven children born to a hard-working, rural couple. Due to a case of German Measles during pregnancy, my Daddy was born totally deaf and with limited vision in his left eye. In his early years, he lived on the family farm and his family communicated with him using "home signs". In 1947, when my Daddy was 6 years old, he was sent about 300 miles away across the state to a special school for deaf children. There was no such thing as "mainstreaming" back then, so this was the only option for my grandparents to be sure my Daddy could get an education. While I understand this in my head, my heart aches every time I think about it. As a mother, I cannot imagine sending my son away totally alone at such a young age! Daddy stayed at that school until he was 21 years old. He only came home (riding the train alone to and from) for two weeks at Christmas and the three months of summer vacation each year. Other than that, he lived at school with other deaf children and teenagers, and without question, they became his family. He had learned a language that he could use to express himself fully. This was a language no one knew back home (other than the letters of the alphabet). My Daddy did a lot of great things while he was at the Georgia School for the Deaf in Cave Springs. Take a look at a few of them..... I believe the most important thing he did at the Georgia School for the Deaf was meeting a pretty young girl named Mary Louise Gammage in 1961. She'd only been on campus for two years (as opposed to his 14 years), but the two had an undeniable attraction to each other. (By the way, you definitely need to hear my Mama's story too! Here's the link: "A Steel Magnolia Hits 70") Daddy graduated in 1963, and leaving Mary Louise behind at school, he moved to Brunswick, GA to start his first job. Keep in mind that he is a deaf man who only communicates via American Sign Language living in a place where no one spoke his language. He lived in a room at a boarding house and worked at a commercial printing company setting the type to be run through a printing press. He transferred to the same type of job in Augusta, GA only 2 months later and worked there for 4 1/2 years. Mary Louise graduated from GSD in May of 1966 and the two married on July 9, 1966. I wish I had a wedding picture to show you, but I don't because they eloped. They went over to Aiken, SC (because according to them "you didn't have to wait as long as in Georgia for a marriage license AND there wasn't a bloodtest!") In March of 1968, they had a baby (that would be me).....a hearing one! (which really shouldn't have been a surprise since neither of them were deaf due to genetics, but rather to external circumstances, but I think folks were concerned.) :) There were several moves over the next several years...Augusta to Cedartown to Chamblee (where Daddy got a job as a mail clerk, sorting the mail for the US Postal Service). In 1970, the three of us moved one more time....to a little town called Sylvester, GA. Daddy transferred to Albany's main USPS office and he worked that job......diligently, day in and day out on 2nd & 3rd Shifts......for the next 22 years! Throughout the '70s & '80s, Daddy worked hard for his family and was also very dedicated to his church and our God. He and Mama attended Byne Memorial Baptist Church where there was a significant deaf ministry. He taught Sunday School classes to deaf people. I am so proud to say that my Daddy was the first deaf man ever ordained to be a Deacon in that church! In fact, he was the second deaf man in the state of Georgia to ever be an ordained Deacon! He served as President of the Georgia Baptist Convention of the Deaf for one term. He also served as the President of the 3rd Chapter of the GAD (Georgia Association of the Deaf). In July of 1979, he became a Daddy for the second time as we welcomed my baby sister into the world! Yes, she can hear, too (in case you're wondering). :) Well, our family of four rocked on quite well for a decade or so....just doing the normal family stuff. In fact, in the fall of 1992, the USPS offered Daddy an early retirement option, and at the ripe old age of 50, he took it. He had plans....big plans. He was going to draw his pension and still find something small to do on the side....perhaps something with his hands like weaving cane-back/bottom chairs or landscaping. (He loved growing roses!) However, in just 6 short months (February of 1993), my Daddy's world was turned upside down. "Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an Daddy had a massive brain stem stroke. It was totally unexpected, and it ravaged his body! He lost all control of the right side of his body. (He's right-handed!) He could no longer use his right hand/arm at all. (His only form of communication is sign language! BOTH hands are important!) He couldn't walk. He couldn't swallow. The left side of his face was out of his control. (His left eye that never was great before was now basically useless.) He had to be fed through a tube coming out of his abdomen. It. Was. Devastating. I remember those 18 weeks of uncertainty as if they were just yesterday. We didn't know from day to day if he would survive. However, what I didn't know as a child became clear to me as an adult..... my Daddy was a fighter! In 1994, at his request, we found a surgeon who was willing to do a tracheotomy on Daddy. This was in an effort to allow him to eat by mouth again without aspirating. It meant that his voicebox would be permanently removed. He wanted it done and we wanted to honor his wish. So, now, my Dad is literally mute. He never really used his voice to communicate..... never had any formal training in oral language, but he used to call for me in the house or outside when I was growing up. It sounded like this..."Dah!" , but I knew it was him...needing me. I no longer get to hear "Dah" anymore and wow do I miss it, but my Daddy can eat again, and that makes it all worthwhile! He eats by mouth and breathes by neck only. In most pictures I take of him, he wants me to Photoshop the "hole" in his neck and get it out of the picture and I've done it at his request, but I may start leaving it in. It's definitely a badge of strength in my opinion! "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." ~Helen Keller In 2011, Daddy had a second round of smaller but still very serious strokes. My sister and I decided it was time to pack our parents up and move them closer to one of us. So, we packed up 45 years worth of independent life and moved them to North Georgia. Daddy had to be placed in a nursing home with the hope of being able to rehabilitate him to a point of living at home again with the love of his life. Against all odds, he did just that! I took this picture of him the day I drove him home to be with Mama. See that determination? I told you he's a fighter! Daddy was 70 that Fall and I felt an overwhelming need to celebrate this extraordinary man and his life, so we had not one, but two parties for him in his new backyard. One for family to attend, and one for all of his deaf friends to celebrate. It was a fantastic time of reunion! Last year in May, I had the distinct pleasure of seeing the place my Daddy lived for so many years and met my mama. Wow! It is a time I will NEVER forget. In my 45 years, I have never seen my Daddy so animated, so excited, so full of life as he explained to me with one hand where he slept, where he played basketball & football, where he courted his Love! This place is clearly a place of many happy memories for them both, and I will be forever grateful that I got to see it with them through their eyes. On September 15, 2012, Daddy was inducted into the GSD Hall of Fame. Due to health restrictions, he wasn't able to attend in person, but he sure was happy when he got his plaque in the mail! Just look at that smile! "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most So, there you have it. The life of Kerry R. Thomas thus far. My Daddy. My Hero! If you've read all the way down to this point, I thank you from the bottom of my heart! Yes, it's a long story, but it's real....and inspiring.....and definitely worth the time it took for me to write it! Even with all of the obstacles my Daddy has endured in his life, he STILL praises God and looks for the positives. I watch him choose patience and peace and joy every single day. I am around him for two seconds and I am quickly reminded how most of us have NOTHING to complain about! So, I have to ask... who's YOUR hero? I encourage you to take the time..... right now....today.....to seek them out either by phone or in person and gather up every morsel of their memories before you miss the opportunity! As for me? Yes, I know who my hero is....he's without question the strongest, most courageous man I have ever known and I will cherish him and the legacy he has given me for as long as I draw breath! I love you, Daddy! UPDATE-
Daddy entered Heaven's Gates on April 12, 2016, but his story doesn't end there...in fact, that’s where it gets REALLY good, and I can’t wait to see him again so we can celebrate our Victory in Jesus together for all eternity!
13 Comments
Bonnie
10/9/2013 08:52:12 am
That was really sweet Dot...no doubt that he is just as proud of you as you are of him.
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Judy Coleman
10/9/2013 08:53:35 am
A beautiful and well deserved tribute to one of the finest Christian men I have ever known. I am so grateful that God gave me the opportunity to be called Kerry's friend! Thank you, Dot, for the love you have shared and the love that you are.
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Marlee Thomas
10/9/2013 09:32:12 am
You are already a woman I look up to and admire for so many reasons and reading posts like these make me do so even more! Love you!!
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Tony Turner
10/9/2013 10:14:28 am
Absolutely awesome. You, your faithfulness to your parents is to be commended. You will NEVER have any regrets because you are an awesome, awesome daughter. I know they are proud of you, as am I!
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Rhonda Adams
10/9/2013 11:17:01 am
What an awesome tribute to your Dad. I do not know your Dad, but I am sure he is as proud of you as you are of him. Thank you for sharing his story........ your family's story... a story of love and inspiration.
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Kelly Hall
10/9/2013 01:15:42 pm
LOVE THIS!!! Although I knew many of the facts in this blog, what an awesome legacy to leave to family members as well as the families and friends of his school! Thank you for sharing his story... Love you and so proud to call you "FRIEND" The Hall's love ya'!
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Diane Self
10/9/2013 05:49:11 pm
Dot, Thank you so much for sharing this. I enjoyed it so much and such a wonderful tribute to your Dad. Such a happy and blessed life for him after all those years he spent away in school. You have a beautiful family and I always enjoy your pictures. Keep them coming!!
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Rosemary Reehling
10/21/2013 02:08:10 pm
Dot - Wow. I absolutely loved reading this. I can't tell you how terrific I think this is and I'm so happy you shared his amazing story. I feel blessed to have had a glimpse of his life through your eyes. My own sweet daddy is 80 now...and he is still and always will be my hero. Love, love, love this beautiful tribute. Love, Rosemary
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Bobbie Gay
11/29/2013 11:23:55 am
Dot--Thank you so much for sharing this story of your sweet Daddy. Your parents are such an amazing couple with two precious daughters. Again, thanks.
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Jill Smith
2/23/2015 03:55:42 am
i remember his brief stay at the nursing home. Both your parents have amazing strength and courage. I am thankful that I met them. I enjoyed reading both of their stories.
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JEAN BARRETT WALKER
10/6/2015 04:43:31 am
DOT, THANK YOU SO MUCH FIR THE STORY OF UR DAD AND MAMA. I ENJOYED IT VERY MUCH ALTHO I KNEW YOUR DAD WHILE I WAS AT GSD TILL I GRADUATED IN YEAR OF 1956. I WOULD LOVE TO BE WITH UR DAD AND CHAT WITH HIM ONCE MORE BEFORE I LEAVE THIS WORLD. NOW I AM ALMOST 80 YRS OLD ON 11TH OF THIS MONTH. I AM LOOKING FORWARD GO HOME TO LIVE WITH GOD. YOU MADE ME FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU FRI
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Vernessa
4/11/2016 12:47:20 pm
Thank you for sharing your dad's life story with us. I am in awe of the strength and courage he has exemplified over the years. It has inspired me to not complain about the minor things I encounter in this life and to be more thankful for each day and the challenges that comes with it.
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Josh Rider
1/25/2023 04:21:08 pm
Thank you for sharing this with me. Having worked with a deaf student-athlete who spent time at the same school, it was very interesting to learn about your daddy (and mother) and their experiences in school and life.
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AuthorHi! I'm Dot. I refuse to succumb to the "empty nest syndrome"! So, this is my journal.....my photo album.....my attempt to enjoy the next chapter of my life as it unfolds. Welcome to The Roomy Nest! Archives
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