My husband and I (a.k.a. "RutnDot") have been on a journey to better health these last six months or so. If this is your first time here at the Roomy Nest, you'll want to read my two previous posts before you dive into this one. Here are the links...
So, as you can see, we're making some changes, and these changes involve a lot of numbers. Let's start with the weight numbers (because that's the "what" behind the "why" in this story.) Click the chart to enlarge it. So, yes, as you can see, we've both lost some weight and that's a good thing! However, while I do enjoy seeing the number drop on the scale, for me it's always been about the numbers directly related to my bloodwork....specifically, my "liver numbers." You may recall that the liver was Dr. Jarrard's main concern for me back in July, but she also wasn't happy with my cholesterol stats either. I didn't really go into any detail in previous posts about those numbers, so I'll do that now. There are two blood tests that Dr. Jarrard always looks at in order to check liver function: AST (Aspartate Aminotransferase) and ALT (Alanine Aminotransferase). Depending on the lab that processes the bloodwork, the "normal range" can vary slightly. In the chart below, you can take a look at my numbers before the prescribed detox and then again at the six month mark. You'll also see the comparison of my cholesterol stats. Click the chart to enlarge it. So, as they say, "the numbers don't lie." Progress, right? However, when I look at my new numbers, instead of being satisfied with the FANTASTIC improvements the Sugar Detox has helped me achieve, I'm instantly drawn to the two levels that still aren't "good enough." (You see my pink highlights above, right?) So, I've got more work to do! Here's the thing, though.... now I know I CAN do this. It's within my reach, and I'm pretty confident that if I just keep doing what Rut and I have been doing for the past six months (major food changes and frequent exercise), my numbers should continue to improve. (By the way, Rut's blood numbers were plenty good in Oct. 2018, but his Oct. 2019 numbers were FABULOUS! I'm a #JealousButProud Wife. :) Dr. MBJ was very impressed with my numbers, and she even gave me the coveted "gold star" sticker on my lab report printout. My next visit with her will be in Summer 2020, and I'm on a mission to bring those two pink numbers down even more. Stay tuned! As I told Dr. MBJ, this is simply a new lifestyle for my husband and me. Do we have a sweet treat from time to time? Yes. Do we make it a habit? No. We've realized that if we want to live long healthy lives, large amounts of sugar consumption (in MANY food varieties) just don't help us achieve that goal. So, this "detox" has already turned into a lifestyle shift for us, and it's working better than we ever imagined it would. I hope my transparency about this topic has helped you if you're dealing with similar health concerns. The most important thing to remember is this... Make some changes, my friend, and then enjoy the benefits!
Until next time, ~Dot
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The last time I posted here at The Roomy Nest was on 9/6/19 telling you all about the big Sugar Detox my husband and I were embracing based on my doctor's very clear directive. If you missed that post, you'll definitely want to read it before you go any further with this post. Here's the link: http://theroomynest.weebly.com/my-blog/doctor-prescribed-detox So, now RutnDot are four months into this new Sugar Detox lifestyle we've committed to for better health and longevity, and I thought it might be a good time to post an update...since we're now in the holiday season where sugar seems to constantly be in our path! LOL A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at the time. ~Mark Twain I'm proud to share with you that Rut and I have stuck very close to the new eating habits we've created. We're also very committed to getting some exercise in as many days of the week as possible. Those two things combined....eating habits and breaking a sweat...have contributed to what you see in the chart below. Overall, we are pleased with the numbers on our scale, BUT I want to be sure we are as transparent as possible in our updates, so the truth is...our weight is up and down. Like Mr. Twain said... old habits die hard...and, well... sometimes thoughts of sweet treats just become too large to ignore! Anyway, in an effort to stay accountable to this lifestyle shift, we're going to put our weights out here on the "interwebs" for all the world to see and update it as time goes by. Click the chart to enlarge it. So, if my math is correct, Rut has lost approximately 21 pounds and I have lost approximately 16 pounds thus far in this new lifestyle of ours. However, if you look at both of us, Rut is DEFINITELY much thinner while I look pretty much the same. What?! How?! WHY??! #WeirdScienceStuff Clearly, my husband is on a faster track than I am. <UGH!! SO frustrating!!> But, if I'm to be truthful.... Rut isn't nearly as attached to sugar as I am. While I have cut out TONS of hidden sugars in my daily intake, I still love fruit and have some with breakfast and lunch. Rut doesn't. He's also become a black coffee drinker. Me? No way! I still need a single packet of sweetener and a splash of almond milk creamer each and every morning. So, there's that. Plus...well...he's a man, and I'm convinced that men just drop pounds and shift weight around faster than us women regardless. #JealousButWhatever Anyway...we both have milestones that are important to us. Rut has been focused on getting to a number below 200 lbs, and as you can see, on 11/21, he did just that. Woohoo! However, in just a few days, Thanksgiving week was upon us. We indulged in plenty of good food on several days of that week, so we were prepared for a "scale spike." We both knew better than to look at the numbers immediately because we needed to get back into our regular groove, so we've waited a few days to weigh in. He's not back below the 200s yet, but he's definitely getting there. Meanwhile, MY highly anticipated milestone is to be in the 150s again. For whatever reason I seem to be in a holding pattern right now, but maybe I'll get there eventually. My ultimate goal would be to get back down in to the mid 140s (where I was before all of this "old lady stuff" started happening to me!), but I'm prepared for the fact that I might not ever get back to that place and I'll be satisfied & thankful for the body God intends for me to live in. As you know from my original detox post, my #1 goal is to hear better things from my doctor in January. I want to hear that all of my blood levels are better...lots better. Rut already had his yearly checkup with that same doctor back in October, and she. was. stunned. She was SO impressed with his weight loss. Her words were..."Wow...I have nothing to say to you except...just keep doing what you're doing. It's working." So, will I get that same "wow factor" from Dr. MBJ come January 2020? I'm hopeful. I'll keep you posted on that. Here's the main thing I want to share with you.... Nothing changes if nothing changes. ~Unknown It's such a simple statement, but SO VERY TRUE, Y'all! "Nothing changes if nothing changes." I'm urging you to do a personal health inventory. See a doctor. Know your "numbers." As hokey as it might sound (I'm very serious here), ask yourself if there are things in your life that need to change in order for you to live your best life. If that question produces a list of things, get started! No matter your age. No matter your weight. No matter your circumstances. Start small, but for your own sake, please get started! Trust me on this...if Rut and I can shift our mindsets about food and exercise, you can, too! What are you waiting for? Today's the day! Until next time, ~Dot ********************************************* UPDATE! 1/13/20 -- Rut and I have both reached our next milestone goal! Check it out on the grid below! Woohoo!! Now, we just need to keep it...and set a new one! :)
I've got enough health-care providers currently in my life to form the first string of a basketball team with one or two extras sitting on the bench... Dentist, Dermatologist, General Practitioner, Gynecologist, Internist, Neurologist, and Optometrist. Now, don't get me wrong...doctors are important, and, fortunately, I like all of mine (or I would have found replacements for them already!), but there's definitely one that intimidates me a little bit. She's my internist, Dr. Mary Bess Jarrard, and believe me when I tell ya... MBJ don't play! Let me put it this way... she's like Santa Claus...she "knows when you've been good or bad, so be good for goodness sake!" At my most recent appt. on July 2nd, she called me out...big time...and because of the prescription she sent home with me, my life (nor my husband's) will ever be quite the same again. But before I explain why, let me give you the backstory...
For some years now, my husband and I have both attended a health screening hosted by my employer in order to receive incentive points towards our health insurance. It's a fairly quick in and out event. You arrive without having had any breakfast and get called back to one of a handful of "private rooms" which is really just one big room partitioned off by thin curtains. Your assigned medical personnel takes your measurements and pricks your finger to draw a little blood. She spins it around in this nifty contraption, and within minutes you have a bunch of numbers given to you reflecting your "health stats." Year after year, I have heard the nurse in the next room tell my husband... "Wow, Mr. Rutherford, your numbers are all great! Well....except for your weight... you should probably try to reduce your food intake a bit, but otherwise all of your stats are fantastic!" Meanwhile...back in MY curtained cubicle... my news has gotten worse and worse every visit. My weight had crept up just a tad each year, and, several years ago, the nurse told me very bluntly that I was definitely headed for Type 2 Diabetes...soon. I guess she could tell I was a little stunned by her news, so she continued..."Do others in your family have Type 2 diabetes?" I replied that yes, both of my parents took daily medication for it. She went on to say "Oh, then it may just be genetic for you. Some people are just predisposed to it based on family history." Hmph. I wasn't sure I bought that explanation, but deep down, secretly, I thought...oh well...at least I have an excuse for my numbers.
Now, you would think that diabetes discussion would have gotten my attention, wouldn't you... but it didn't. I made no changes, so.... little by little by little... more weight packed on... SEVERE headaches and two "weird episodes" occurred (such that extensive neurology tests were done).... a general sluggishness took over and left me feeling pretty crappy every single day. With my husband's encouragement, I decided to set up an appt. with his internist (you already know her name). He assured me, "She's very thorough. She tests your blood AND she'll talk with you about what steps you need to take to correct things if she sees any problems." I've seen her now for three annual summer appts.: 2017, 2018, and 2019. The first summer I saw her, it was just plenty of baseline stuff, getting shots that I needed at this stage of my life, etc. Then, last year, she noticed a weight gain from the 2017 visit to the 2018 visit. "Just a couple of pounds difference, but you're now right at 174 pounds, so it's definitely something to watch," she said. I told her very pointedly that I don't eat a ton of "extra stuff" AND I work out plenty. I simply didn't understand why I was continuing to gain weight. That's when she jotted down a book title she wanted to suggest to me that might be helpful. Guess what I did with the suggestion... I tossed it. To this day, I cannot rationalize why I didn't get that book then. I guess I just wasn't really ready to tackle whatever this was that I assumed was now controlling my body. It's clearly more powerful than me, I thought, so... I can only assume that this is "just how it is" now as a "mid-life woman." (crazy, right? but that's the lie I was telling myself)
So another year passed by and, among all the other Dr. appts I do every summer, I visited Dr. MBJ on July 2, 2019. She got right to the point. "Dot, you were 174 lbs. this time last year. You are now 178 lbs. You have to get a handle on this." As I started to do my usual..."but...but...but... " excuses I'd become so good at, she quickly cut me off and added..."...and some of your blood numbers are not good. You're borderline Type 2 Diabetic, and your body is starting to store fat in places that won't have good outcomes for you if left unattended. I'm specifically concerned about these numbers associated with your liver." She had my full attention. I immediately said..."is this about alcohol intake? Because I can assure you, my husband and I only have approximately two cocktails a week on our back porch (some of you may be familiar with our #FreshSqueezedFridays) and that's it... unless it's tailgate season...."
She assured me that she's not talking about alcohol intake specifically and then went on to explain to me that the body chooses to store any extra fat in numerous places within our bodies. My "first" problem area happened to be the liver, but she made it clear that other issues will follow if I don't take a long hard look at the amount of SUGAR that I'm choosing to consume on a regular basis. She gave her nurse a pointed look. Without a word spoken, the nurse left the room, and within seconds returned with a photocopied image of the cover of a book...
Yep...the very same book she had kindly suggested the year before.
She said, "Now, you're going to see plenty of other books with this same idea...very similar titles. I want you to get and read THIS specific book by this specific author. My husband (also a medical professional!) was told to read this same book by his doctor, so he and I did it together. It works if you really put in the effort and take it seriously. Oh, also...buy a food scale. You'll find it very useful as you progress through the book." I told her I'd get the book and figure out what parts would help me before I saw her next summer for my 2020 appt. Her reply.... "Nope. You'll read the ENTIRE book, cover to cover, as soon as possible, and I'll see you in January." Guess what I did this time... I drove straight to Barnes & Noble in Athens, GA after my appt. and bought that book. I talked with Rut about the whole deal when I got home, and we decided to read it together (#BooksOnDot) and then follow it to the letter together. Since we were in-between our two children's weddings, we decided to read the book entirely, discuss our game plan, try out a few of the suggested/approved "good foods" that we weren't very familiar with (quinoa, coconut oil, etc) just for kicks and start AFTER wedding #2 (July 20th) and our own anniversary (July 28th). So, on Thursday, August 1st, 2019, we officially began "Operation Sugar Detox." On that date, Rut weighed 221 lbs. and I weighed 178 lbs. Let the detox commence!
The book uses very plain talk to explain the why behind our need to take a serious look at sugar, but it goes beyond the WHY and tackles the HOW TO by walking the reader through a 3-day total sugar avoidance. (You'd be surprised how many "normal" things that most of us eat contain LOTS of sugar....ex: ketchup...4 grams PER TABLESPOON!). First three days....absolutely NO sugar consumption. There are suggested/approved foods and beverages (hello, water!) and even a basic meal plan. Then, after those VERY HARD first three days (btw, I discovered very quickly that I've been a sugar addict plain and simple!), we moved on to Week 1 where a few familiar foods (some with natural sugar) were added back to the approved list. I've never been so happy to eat a piece of cheese before! Week 2 came along and with it....fruit!! WOOHOO!! Blackberries tasted sweeter than I had ever remembered them tasting before! (It's amazing how quickly my taste buds had changed!) Week 3 brought with it specific grains (there's that quinoa I was talking about). Week 4... more variety of the things we were already adding back in. I'm leaving lots of the specifics out here, but the book is VERY detailed, and as I said... we just did what it told us to do for 31 days.
Many of you will laugh when you read this and I'm a bit embarrassed to admit it, but... Y'all, I am 51 years old and for the first time in my life, I feel like I actually understand how food choices truly affect the body. Also, there's a whole other world out there of really GREAT food that Rut and I are enjoying these days. Can you believe that before I got this detox prescription I had NEVER in my life tried kale chips (hated 'em, but still...) or sunflower seeds....or pistachios....or cauliflower rice....or zucchini noodles...or almond milk, or... well, you get the idea....?? It's true! I'm also trying new recipes now that involve almond flour and coconut oil among other things and totally enjoying the new discoveries!
Here are a few things that jumped off the pages at me:
I've been obsessed with my weight most of my life, but to be honest, it never had anything to do with my health until now. In the past, the obsession was totally fueled by vanity. Now? It's 100% about health and longevity. I want to meet my grandchildren one day and actually be able to play with them and be present for their weddings and the births of THEIR children! God may have other plans for my life, but I want to be as healthy as I can for as long as He sees fit to have me living in this body. Therefore, I have to do my part.
On the last day of our official month-long detox program, Aug. 31st, Rut weighed in at 208 lbs. and I weighed in at 166.7. So, over the 31 days of controlling sugar consumption and committing to daily exercise, Rut lost 13 lbs. and I lost 9.3 lbs. (Ugh! Why do men lose more & quicker than women?? #jealous) Anyway, these may not seem like big numbers, but as my husband keeps reminding me, this is not a sprint. It's a life-long marathon that we've started. This "diet" doesn't have an end-point. We've both got plenty more pounds to shed, but life's too short not to enjoy a slice of something decadent every now and then. So, while we DO plan to enjoy occasional celebrations (and Saturday football tailgating definitely does fall under that category, by the way), we plan to continue utilizing the sugar detox mindset on a regular daily/weekly basis for the rest of our lives. We both agree that we actually feel better. At the risk of sounding a little dramatic here, I can say with certainty that I feel "clearer-minded." My headaches are gone. I have more energy. I feel like I'm reversing some really bad habits, and it's actually exciting. Now, I'm not gonna lie...seeing that number on the scale decrease feels real good, but it's not my #1 goal. For me, the true test will be in January when I see Dr. MBJ again for an updated round of "health stats." I hope I make her proud. :)
Now, listen, Y'all...
If you've got a particular health mindset that you're into....Paleo...Keto...No Carbs...No Dairy...Gluten Free...whatever...and it's working for you, then PLEASE don't change a thing!! BUT! If you're not feeling great and you've put off trying to figure it out OR your "health stats" haven't been too great over the last few years, I'd like to encourage you to get this book, read it, and give it a try. I believe it's worth all the effort! Also....one last thing...as of yesterday morning(9/5/19) Rut would like for you to know he weighs 205.6. (221-205.6= 15.4 lbs lost in 5 weeks) I'm so proud of him, and I predict that when he sees Dr. MBJ in October for HIS yearly visit, he's for sure gonna get the coveted MBJ gold star on his health stats printout. "The Sugar Detox" by Brooke Alpert....I highly recommend it! Until next time, ~Dot
P.S. One last thought to leave you with...
I am so sold on the ideas in this book that I've shared it with both of my children and their spouses, my sister and her husband, and my mother (and now all of you!) My son-in-law sent me this video clip with a message saying "felt like this explained the whole sugar situation pretty well," and he's exactly right! It's produced by "College Humor" so you know it's going to be a bit funny, but it really DOES sum it all up nicely. Take a look...
The real power of a man is in the size of the smile of the woman sitting next to him. ~Unknown If you've followed my blog for a while now, you may remember that my husband and I enjoy listening to books while we ride in the car on our various road trips. However, we don't listen to "books on tape...or podcasts...or the latest available digital tool." No, we listen to "Books on Dot." :) Here's the backstory on that if you're interested. So, after many road trips (some just a hop over to ATH...others to see our children in ATL), we've FINALLY finished our most recent read-aloud... My Dear Hamilton by Stephanie Dray & Laura Kamoie. These are the same authors that brought us America's First Daughter, which we thoroughly enjoyed. In fact, it's the sole reason that I bought this book, and it did NOT disappoint! My Dear Hamilton is the story of Eliza Schuyler Hamilton—a revolutionary woman who struggled to define herself in the midst of war, then betrayal, and ultimate tragedy. Yes, she was the wife of Alexander Hamilton. Yes, the man that everyone is familiar with these days due in large part to the award-winning Broadway musical known simply by his last name. But, Eliza was an accomplished woman in her own right. Authors Dray and Kamoie used thousands of letters and original sources to tell Eliza’s story in a way it’s never been told before—not just as the wronged wife at the center of a political sex scandal—but also as a founding mother who helped shape an American legacy. Eliza Hamilton was the daughter of a Revolutionary War General, the wife of one of our nation's founding fathers, and one of the last survivors of the American Revolution. She saw a lot, she heard a lot, and without question, she survived a lot. Widowed at forty-seven, when Hamilton died in that infamous duel, she was determined not to let America forget him. However, in her quest for keeping his memory alive for others, she stumbled upon some well-kept secrets that made her wonder whether even SHE wanted to remember him anymore. It would take her years of soul-searching to make that very important decision. Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton August 9, 1757 - November 9, 1854 My favorite quotes from the book:
Like other historical fiction books I've read, this book left me wanting to know more about this fascinating woman, and THAT'S how I determine the rating I give a book. So, My Dear Hamilton easily gets five stars from me. Rut and I enjoyed every page of the book. Yes, it's all about war...and politics...but it goes MUCH deeper than that! I highly recommend it (...and so does Rut!) ;)
Until next time, ~D Yesterday (Saturday, 3/31..."Easter Eve"), on our most recent RutnDot roadtrip, I asked Rut to be on the lookout for a “flowered cross” because I wanted to take some pictures of one if possible. I knew that many churches display them in their front lawn in celebration of Easter. I explained that it didn’t have to be any particular kind of church or elaborate display either…just a cross that clearly showed the fact that Jesus Christ died, but even more importantly, LIVES today…for us. Well, as we rode along, I became more and more disappointed because while we did see many crosses along the way, they all either had the black cloth draped over or were plain wood. I totally get it…yesterday wasn’t Easter Sunday, and the flowers usually signify the day He arose. But, then, we had a roadside reminder…out of the blue…no church anywhere in sight. Just a cross…a beautiful floral cross…out in the middle of nothing special. As soon as I saw it (going 60 mph), I started to speak and Rut said…”I know. I saw it, too. I’m looking for a place to turn around.” So, we went back, and I got out and walked into the middle of that field and took my pictures of that beautiful cross from every angle and worshipped my Savior in the process. I have no idea who put that cross out there and so lovingly decorated it, but God used it to speak so clearly to me in that field, y’all. Here’s the deal… God didn’t send His Son to die for certain people who go to certain places. There wasn’t any qualifying criteria for who Jesus came to save. He hung on a cross and bled to death for ALL of us…every single one… even those who don’t know Him yet, and because He LIVES, we Christians will too…for ETERNITY… with Him. I believe it’s our job as Christians to make sure those (and there are many) that haven’t heard of Jesus and what He did on our behalf are told about it. In addition, that flowered cross in the middle of nowhere on a day other than Easter Sunday also reminded me that my Jesus LIVES every…single…day….not just on Easter Sunday. Let’s not lose sight of that, y’all, and let’s tell the world about Him and His Love for us every.single.day. “Victory in Jesus”….that’s what it’s all about, and thank I my God daily that I have it. Until next time,
~D Live your life, and forget your age. ~Norman Vincent Peale I've tapped on my calculator app here on my phone because I want to double-check something. Let's see....2018-1968=.... yep, that's what I thought....50. So,<heavy sigh>.... a person born on March 13, 1968 would be fifty years old on March 13, 2018. <deep, thoughtful sigh> So, I guess that settles it. I know for sure that, as of today, I am 50 years old. Goodness. It just seems kinda' surreal. Now, please don't misunderstand me here. I know full well what my mindset should be...grateful...because as the saying goes... "growing older is a privilege denied to many." And I AM so very grateful! It's just that, as I think back to those who came before me, I used to think 50 was ANCIENT! One of my many memories of my sweet Daddy was when he turned fifty and Mama had a small family party for him. Rut and I went down to South Georgia to join the celebration, and I was about six months pregnant with our first baby. I remember so clearly thinking, "wow! Daddy is SO old now"...and here I am the exact same age he was that day. Lightbulb moment!! Daddy wasn't THAT old after all!! :) As long as you live, keep learning how to live. ~Seneca the Younger What I WOULD like to hope is that I'm becoming a better person every year that God allows me to remain on this earth. I've learned plenty of things, and I'd like to think I'm applying those lessons to my life with each passing year... walking a little taller...with a little more confidence...and a lot more awareness. Yes, I know for sure that I'm fifty (that's what my calculator says, anyway), and in the spirit of celebration of that fact, here are fifty other things (in no particular order) that I know for sure:
So, it would seem that I've learned plenty in these fifty years, but I've still got plenty more to learn. Here's to the next fifty! Happy Birthday to me! :) Until next time, ~D Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. ~Confucius Well, hello, there! I just realized that this is my first blog post since July! It would seem I've had nothing to say for six whole months, but if you know me, you know better than that! In fact, I've got another post in the works to explain (or at least discuss) the reason(s) for my absence around here. So, I'll be back soon with that one. In the meantime, I'd like to share something with you that I tried for the first time this Christmas. It was an idea sparked by this rhyme... Each year for as long as they've been in the world, we've made sure our children have had a "merry" Christmas. When they were little bits, it was easy to bring smiles to their faces on Christmas Morning. However, the older they got, the harder it became. Some years, one would want a "big ticket item" but the other would shrug the shoulders and say he/she really couldn't think of anything "big" that they wanted/needed. (Admittedly, none of us need anything!) So, I would always try to make sure the AMOUNT spent was as equal as possible...which, of course, meant that while one would get that one pricey present the other would get more gifts (much smaller in value) to open on Christmas Morning. The next year, it might be reversed. I'm sure you can imagine the sibling banter that ensued. Suffice it to say... some years haven't ended up being so holly jolly around here. In addition (complete honesty alert here!), everything started changing when they went to college and it started to seem a bit overkill to me. I was just wandering around looking for something...anything...to buy and wrap and put under the tree for them to open on the big day. I started to feel as if the things I'd picked out weren't going to get the big "yay! I LOVE it!" reaction. I SO desperately wanted to rekindle that Magic from Christmases long before. So, I'd find myself doing second and third rounds of shopping to try and make up for the lackluster gifts by giving them MORE things to open. My thinking was that they might not LOVE the stuff, but at least there would be lots of it for them to open. Crazy, right?? Clearly, it had turned into nothing more than a task...a box to check off on the endless holiday to-do list. I found no joy in it at all. (I warned you..."complete honesty"...remember?) Here's where that rhyme comes into the story! See, I've been a Pinterest Girl for a long time. I can get sucked down the Pinning Pipe very quickly and stay there for hours. Lately, I've actually been doing a lot of pinning as inspiration for some things related to my job, and one day I ran across a pin with that rhyme... "Something you want; Something you need; Something to wear; Something to read." I knew full well that it was intended to be an idea to do for small children in an effort to teach them about 'giving vs. receiving' and 'appreciating what is received' and 'less is more'...etc. So, I quickly scrolled on to the next group of pins on my wall. But something about the idea just kept popping into my head for days after that. Truly, it wasn't about trying to teach my adult children a lesson of any kind. Somehow, it just seemed...well...maybe a little fun...dare I say...maybe even a bit "magical". It just seemed like I could be more purposeful in our giving to our children. I mentioned it to them and they didn't object, so I decided to try it this year. I still asked for suggestions, but it wasn't about making sure it was equal as far as cost was concerned anymore. I was much more interested in giving things that fit the criteria and actually would be things they would really appreciate and enjoy having / using. In addition to our own two children, we now claim our son's beautiful fiance' as our third child, so I included her in this new idea as well. I was so excited to watch each of them open their four gifts that I didn't even take pictures of what was inside each box! Sorry! (but, then again, I'm not sorry because that just means I was REALLY enjoying this Christmas and was totally in the moment!) It was nice to know that we had truly taken time to think about each of our children and given them things specific to what is going on in their lives right now. Among those twelve gifts, we watched our daughter open a much-NEEDED vacuum cleaner (I'm not exaggerating when I say she was ecstatic to receive it!), our son: a beautiful brown leather satchel NEEDED for his upcoming student teaching experience which he seemed to really appreciate, and our future daughter-in-law: a wireless audio transmitter for her car which we heard from our son she had been WANTing for some time. (Yay! She loved it!) There were also some shoes, a sport coat, gift certificates for spa treatments, and of course...books!! :) Each gift had a purpose, and I'm all about that! Yes, it was over pretty quickly (it doesn't take long to open four gifts), but it was a great experience, and I plan to do it again in the years to come...unless Pinterest shares something new with me (other than that Elf on the Shelf business, that is. Nope. Fortunately, he wasn't around when our children were little! LOL) Anyway, I just wanted to share the idea with you. What was the reason for the rhyme? I'm sure it's different for every person that chooses to try it, but for me, it just boiled down to making an effort to remove the unnecessary complications and focus on the simplicity that should accompany Christmas. If you are still recuperating from the recent holiday hustle, I encourage you to keep this in mind for next year. It was definitely a winner for me! Until next time,
~D Realizing that summer was just about over (these days, summer ends in July if you're an educator), Rut and I decided we better get in the car and go somewhere real quick! So, we took a little trip to Chattanooga, TN. What a cool place! Well....actually, it was anything BUT "cool" temperature-wise, but it WAS a fun place to visit and be able to look through my lens at some new things! Take a look... ....and then we went to Lynchburg, TN. Ever heard of it? Something pretty "famous" rolls out of there every day. Honestly, I felt like we were visiting a national monument...AND Willy Wonka's factory all rolled into one! :) Then, back to Chattanooga for one more night... Our final leg of the trip was an overnight stay with some wonderful friends in Ellijay, GA....sitting on their back porch...talking, laughing, and looking at this.... RutnDot's recent roadtrip = success! :) Until next time,
~D I've done many, many Bible studies over the years...most by Beth Moore (who I think is fantastic), but this summer I chose to do a study by someone new to me. God meant for me to do this particular study at this particular time in my life. I know He did because man, oh, man did He speak to me over and over each day! “The Lord of steadfast love knows exactly what we need when we need it. He will dry up our broken wells, expose our chains, lay our earthly wisdom to waste, and pluck up our false anchors. He will be the sure, stable, and steadfast anchor in the storm. There’s no fear for the one who fears the Lord (in an attitude of respect and reverence) and whose soul is anchored in His steadfast love.” ~Lauren Chandler I finished the study today and I'm starting this new school year (on Monday) with an enormous sense of Peace because I've been reminded very clearly by my God where my soul is anchored...in His steadfast Love! "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; His loves endures forever." ~Psalm 107:1 Yesterday was my birthday, and I am SO grateful for the many birthday wishes I received throughout the day from so many of you! Over the last few days I’ve posted plenty of pictures from the “archives” of my childhood on my Facebook page. It’s not something I would normally do. Oh, sure, I post plenty of pictures all the time…just usually not ones where I am the sole focus. I’m not normally a “Me. Me. Me!” person, and while I’m sure it seemed like overload to you, it was just a very small sample of the hundreds I sifted through as I took a long, sweet stroll down memory lane. I think the thing that makes photography so valuable to me is having the ability to freeze moments in time that might very easily be otherwise forgotten. If you’ve read any of my recent blogposts, you probably know that I’ve been contemplating lots about life lately, and while flipping from picture to picture over the weekend, it became very clear very quickly that I’ve had a wonderful life…different than many for sure…but wonderful nonetheless. God has taught me SO much through the people and relationships He’s put in my life, and for 49 years I’ve been truly fortunate. Yes, my past has been fantastic, but what about my future?
See, while many people have this revelation at their 50th birthday, it occurred to me last night that yesterday marked the end of 49 years for me, and I’m actually STARTING my 50th year of life TODAY! That notion is a pretty big deal to me. I mean… chances are that I’ve already hit “mid-life” a few years ago… not many folks actually live to be 100, but, then again, I come from a LONG line of very strong women who DO live well into their 90s, so…Lord willing… ya’ never know! :) At any rate, now, more than ever before, it is abundantly clear to me that I only get one life, and as I start this 50th year, I want to be sure it counts…all of it…every day…every minute…every second! Am I leaving my mark? Will people remember me when I'm gone? and, if so, what will they remember? Am I finding joy in my every day? Sure, I do for others all the time, but am I honoring MYSELF? What am I passionate about? Am I following that path just for me? I intend to start living my life to the fullest in ways I have not done in the past. This is not a mid-life “crisis” I’m having but rather a mid-life REVELATION! No, you won’t be seeing me driving around in a shiny new sports car or coming out of a tattoo parlor freshly inked any time soon. (Nothing wrong with either of those things, by the way, if that’s what floats your boat! It’s just not something I need in order to float my own.) Regardless of how many years I have left on this earth, I want them to matter, and I will give my God all the glory for each and every breath He allows me to take along the way! “I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well!” ~Diane Ackerman So…again, thank you for your love yesterday. I appreciate it more than you know! Here’s to “living the width”… starting today! :) “New Year - a new chapter, new verse, or just the same old story ? Ultimately we write it. The choice is ours.” It's taken me a month to get this written, but here goes... 2016 wasn't a great year for me. Frankly, it was one of the worst I can ever remember in my life. I won't get into the specifics here. If you know me at all you already know at least some of the causes. At any rate, I praise my God because after MUCH prayer, He has lifted a very thick, dark cloud from me, and I FINALLY feel like I am breathing deep, clean breaths of Hope again. It is an incredible feeling! You know how it feels when you've been wearing the wrong prescription glasses or contacts, and you look through the correct strength for the first time? Everything seems so clean and clear and crisp, right? I feel very much like that right now. There are things I've been doing that suddenly seem so very emotionally toxic, and yet there are other things that I SHOULD have been doing that I told myself I just didn't have time to do. With God's Help, that flawed mentality is evolving into something better....something healthier. So, using this as my springboard, I've chosen a word (not a bunch of "resolutions")... just one word...to be my focus throughout 2017. That word is "simplify". SIMPLIFY: v. To make less complex or complicated. It is my hope that by simplifying my life, I can get rid of some of the "junk" that has been weighing me down...and that's both figuratively and literally. So where does one begin when simplifying is the desire? Well, I did a little Googling, and I ran across a helpful article that focuses on that very thing. Here's what it boiled down to.... I'm already doing a few of these on the list. Thanks to Lysa TerKeurst, the word "no" (#7) is no longer a problem for me! I've also made it a priority in the last few months to "de-clutter" (#2) and "own less" (#4) by donating items of clothing & seldom-used household goods, while also trashing things that aren't any good to anyone anywhere...and then taking that next step of realizing it doesn't need to be replaced (which, by the way also helps tremendously with that constant goal I'm striving for of being able to "live debtfree" (#9)! "Spending time disconnected" (#10) has gotten much easier for me, too, since I've realized how important a routine "digital detox" is for "limiting negativity" (#13) and preserving my mental well-being. In addition, I'm so glad to report that I'm FINALLY back in the basement most afternoons gettin' the ol' heart rate going by "moving" (#14) on the elliptical or treadmill and doing my best to make better food choices as well. Yay, me! :) So....let's see...that's # 2, 4, 7, 9, 10, 13 & 14. That would be 7 out of 15....pretty good, but it looks like I've still got some work to do! Let's talk about a few that I am really (truly!) trying to wrap my brain around. Specifically, #1, 3 & 6. #1 -- Slow Down -- Well, I guess it's important to know when to sit down and prop the feet up. This has never been easy for me, but I'm making the effort. I'm trying to tell myself (both at home and at work)..."If it doesn't get done today, it's okay. It'll still be here waiting on me tomorrow!" (But, I have to admit, old habits die hard, and I REALLY just want to start each day with a clean slate. I mean, think about it... am I "simplifying" today only to realize that I've complicated tomorrow??) The jury's still out. <heavy sigh> Moving on... #3 -- Forget the Small Stuff (go 80/20) -- My husband tells me ALL the time..."You worry too much!" I know he's right. The worst part is...I worry about stuff that really doesn't matter at all. The same is true for my everyday focus. I daresay 80% of the stuff I try to tackle everyday is so insignificant that most people wouldn't even acknowledge it, much less DO anything about it. So, this idea is simply to focus on the 20% that really matters. I'm definitely going to work on this one! #6 -- Leave Multitasking to Someone Else -- Now THIS is an area that I find fascinating! For as long as I can remember, I've been a Multitasker. You know...the person that tries to juggle about six (or eight!) tasks simultaneously...maybe you're one, too. I AM proud to say that I can usually do it and complete all six tasks successfully, BUT I am absolutely brain-fried and anxious and downright ornery when I'm done. I find no joy at the other end of the process... just some form of relief. So, imagine my delight when I discovered that there's a new trend emerging... "Monotasking"! MONOTASKING: n. The carrying out of one task at a time. This makes SO much sense! When we focus on accomplishing one thing at a time, we are living in THAT moment... totally experiencing THAT thing. We're "all in", and I think that's a good thing for our brains. Here's a good illustration of this concept... #5, 8, 11 and 15 are all pretty clear to me, and yet, ideas that I need to do a better job subscribing to on a more regular basis! Now, I know that what the word "simplify" means to me may be very different from what it means to you. These fifteen ways can be interpreted very differently based on what each of us holds as important, and that's where my final point kicks in here. See, there's one point from the list that I haven't addressed yet, but I think it's the most important one of all. #12 -- Make Sure You're Chasing the Right Prize Let's face it, we all do what we do for a reason. There's an end result (a.k.a. "a prize") that we're trying to achieve whether we realize it or not. Maybe we're trying to set a good example for our children to follow. Maybe we want to help others. Maybe we want to impress the boss and earn that promotion. Maybe (let's be honest here), we want to prove we're as put together as the "kool kids". Or maybe our baby birds have left the nest and we're searching for our new purpose in life. Recently, I had a very meaningful conversation with a dear friend of mine about this very thing. Mid-life ain't easy, y'all, and I'll be the first to admit that I've been really contemplating the "what now?" question for almost a year now. “People may call what happens at midlife ‘a crisis,’ but it’s not. It’s an unraveling – a time when you feel a desperate pull to live the life you want to live, not the one you’re ‘supposed’ to live. The unraveling is a time when you are challenged by the universe to let go of who you think you are supposed to be and to embrace who you are.” ~ Brené Brown See, when my Daddy died back in April 2016, I had an epiphany...something that would seem so obvious and yet.... it really made me think about how we only get ONE life.... and what am I doing with mine? Is it enough? Why am I here? Am I leaving my mark? Will people remember me when I'm gone? and, if so, what will they remember about me? Am I finding joy in my every day? Sure, I do for others all the time, but am I honoring MYSELF? What am I passionate about? Am I following that path just for me? It's crystal clear to me that I MUST "simplify" in order to find my joy. THIS is the "prize" I want to chase, and the absolute best part is that I KNOW my God is in this. I'm just too overwhelmed with Peace for it not to be His Doing. I just finished reading The Magnolia Story by that super-cute, super-talented, super-awesome HGTV couple Chip & Joanna Gaines. Toward the end of the book, Joanna talks about her struggle with unhappiness and an unrealistic perception of perfectionism (gee, thanks Facebook & Pinterest!). She says.... "I felt like I was just surviving...not thriving, and I knew it was up to me to flip that switch." ~Joanna Gaines So, then she had her own epiphany..... "Letting it all go is freeing. Getting our intentions right simplifies (there's that word, y'all) our decisions in life and changes our perspective. And in the end, what it's all about is thankfulness and contentment." ~Joanna Gaines So, I ask you, dear Reader, are you thriving or just surviving? Is your current "prize" helping or hurting you? You'll get no judgement from me regardless of your answers to those questions because life is different for each one of us (...and also because I don't want any judgement from you either! LOL)! I DO want to encourage you to figure out what that one word is that you can focus on this year to make your journey better. As for me? I'm choosing to SIMPLIFY...and thrive! :) Until next time,
~D "If you don't know history, then you don't know anything. You are a leaf that doesn't know it is part of a tree." ~Michael Crichton The older I get, the more I enjoy Historical Fiction. It has become a springboard for much more digging and learning, and THAT … learning new things / getting that all-important backstory… always brings me a renewed sense of personal joy. With that in mind, I’m so glad to finally be able to write about a book that my husband and I have just completed that has definitely become just such a catalyst for deeper investigation. I say “my husband and I” because this particular book was a road-trip read-aloud. Ever heard of such a thing? No? Well, how about “Books on Tape” (remember those…back in the day)? Yep, I bet you know about those. Well, my Love actually calls them “Books on Dot” because I read books out loud to him sometimes when we take trips, and we discuss the chapters as we move through the book. It’s kind of like a book club for two. It’s way cool, too, because it keeps us focused on good stuff instead of the day-to-day drama that just brings me down when I talk about it (a digital detox, if you will). In addition, my husband is SO stinkin' smart when it comes to history and man-oh-man does he know everything there is to know about Political Science! Put those two things together and there aren't many questions I throw at him that he can't help me understand in a book like this one. Anyway, back in the middle of July, we drove down to Jacksonville Beach for a few days, and I took several books for the trip….genres including historical fiction, suspense, and even a bit of Chick Lit. I let Rut decide which one he wanted to be our road-trip read-aloud, and not surprisingly he chose the one that had an element of history & politics involved (shocker!)… “America’s First Daughter” by Stephanie Dray & Laura Kamoie. (Don’t be fooled, though. Rut enjoys chick lit on occasion as well.) ;) Well, it took us a trip to and from Jacksonville, plenty of drives to and from football tailgates, and even a few visits to see our college son, but we finished it yesterday on our way back from Mercer Homecoming! Woohoo! It took us a little over 3 months, but who’s counting? However, like each and every other time I’ve ever read a great book, I’m a tad bit bummed when it’s over. I feel that way today. It was THAT good. “America’s First Daughter” is at its core all about the life of Martha Jefferson Randolph, the oldest daughter of Thomas Jefferson. Divided into three sections of her life, the book helps the reader get to know The Dutiful Daughter, The Founding Mother, and finally The Mistress of Monticello. Martha, or “Patsy” as she was affectionately known by those closest to her, was an extraordinary woman. Motherless at a very young age caused her to grow up quickly and find ways to sustain her family in the middle of constant crisis. A challenging marriage and plenty of children just added to her already full plate of responsibility as the fierce protector of her father’s secrets. Yes, Martha was the main focus of this book, but there are so many more layers to this fascinating family. Of course, there’s plenty about Thomas Jefferson himself and his rise to power in the earliest years of our nation, all the while keeping plenty of scandalous secrets of his own. The “history book stuff” is all in there, but drawing from the tens of thousands of letters Jefferson wrote in his lifetime, the authors were able to weave a brilliant piece of 18th & 19th century American history packed full of Southern drama….the kind that doesn’t make the “official” history books. From Virginia, to Revolutionary Paris, to the White House, and back again, this is a must-read book…especially if you aren’t really “into” Historical Fiction because once you read this one, you will be! Do I think it was a Five-Star book? Well, the true test for me is always asking myself how much more would I still like to know about the cast of characters after I close a book for the last time. This particular one already has us planning our vacation next summer…. to Monticello! :) Some of my favorite quotes from the book: “I’m not only my father’s daughter, but also a daughter of the nation he founded. And protecting both is what I’ve always done.” “I’ll tell you a secret about being happy, Tom. Sometimes you just have to pretend at it until it becomes real.” “For the first time in my life, I understood that a lie could protect those I loved.” “That moment, for me, was an eclipse of the sun. A blackening of the whole earth. An unfathomable grief in which I no longer knew myself, or the world, or my place in it. But my father—who had always known his place in that world—passed like the hero he was from life into legend.” By the way, the book is so good, I really feel like I've already been here, but I'm looking forward to seeing it with my own eyes one of these days as well!
Until next time, ~D "The mind feasts on what it focuses on. What consumes my thinking will be the making or the breaking of my identity." ~Lysa TerKeurst I don't know how long it's going to take, but one of these days I'm going to realize that it's never a good idea to proudly let Satan know that I'm getting emotionally stronger day by day. It only challenges him to find yet another area of my life to torment. The crazy part is that he is so stinkin' crafty I really didn't realize his most recent mission until I read this book. Talk about an "ah-ha moment"! You may remember another book by Lysa TerKeurst that I read and LOVED and blogged about here almost a year ago. A dear friend of mine also remembered and gave me this book for that very reason. While I appreciated the sentiment, I figured I couldn't relate to it very well once I saw the subject matter. "Lonely"? Not me! My best friend (aka my sweet husband) and I enjoy being together all the time! In addition, I actually enjoy spending time alone with books, photography, etc. Regardless, I figured...why not? It's Lysa TerKeurst! So, I read it, and I want you to know that less than a chapter into the book, I knew God intended to shine a very bright spotlight on an area of my life I was too embarrassed to acknowledge: Not being a member of the Cool Kids Club bothered me....and it bothered me that it bothered me. Know what I mean? No? Not making sense? Keep reading. "Honesty isn't trying to hurt me. It's trying to heal me." Think back to your high school days (maybe even Junior High). Were you one of the "cool kids" or did you glance over at them as they all laughed at yet another inside joke and wonder why you weren't ever cool enough to be a part of their group? Maybe you've never even considered what "rank" you were way back then. To be honest, I never classified myself as anything special. I HOPE most everyone in my very small hometown remembers me as a person who tried to be nice to everyone. (If that's not the case, I sure hope someone will call me out on it, so I can make that right.) Now, let's come back to present-day. How do you see yourself now? Do you think it's different than how OTHERS see you? Here's the thing... it is my belief that many self-appointed "Cool Kids" turn into self-appointed "Cool Adults" and display even more elite-ness and exclusivity now than they ever did back in the day. Maybe it's a choice. Maybe it's from insecurities that they don't even realize they have. Whatever the case is, the Cool Kids Adult Club leaves many folks feeling out of the loop...not important enough....unwanted even....and that can be an extremely lonely place to be, which is where this discussion turns to that great book I just finished reading.... "Uninvited" by Lysa TerKeurst. "Satan knows what consumes us controls us." ~Lysa TerKeurst I'm a fairly intelligent woman, and I realize that everyone cannot be close friends with everyone. In fact, truth be told, I don't want to have a ton of close friends. Just a few really close, loyal, supportive friends are all I need. Yet, lately, I have been consumed (yes, consumed) with the notion that I am clearly not cool enough for a certain Cool Kids Adult Club. I've been bothered by it, and it bothers me (a lot!) that it bothers me! See what I mean? Consuming! Controlling! A vicious cycle instigated by the Serpent himself. "Truth is the perfect tranquilizer. The enemy's power is rendered powerless in the presence of God's promises." ~Lysa Terkeurst Yes, the Cool Kids Adult Club is a group of REAL people, and while their eliteness IS hurtful to folks that don't make the cut, THEY aren't really my problem. Satan is. Again. As I said earlier, it's starting to sink in that he's going to continue to prowl around seeking prey like me to devour as long as I live life on this earth. Luckily, I have the perfect tranquilizer for just such a beast: Truth straight from my God! "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." ~Ephesians 6:12 "I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." ~John 16:33 Ah, yes.....Peace. Now THAT'S something worth talking about, and this wise author gives those of us that feel the sting of rejection ten important things to cling to when uncertainty and discouragement seem to overshadow faith and joy. Ten things for me to cling to when Satan whispers his lies in my ear.
Bottom line here for me....Satan is pushing me harder than he has in some time (and make no mistake...he has pushed me HARD in different seasons of my life). I get the feeling that he really wants me to be so overwrought with "stuff" that I'll finally just succumb to what he keeps trying to convince would be best for me and all those connected to me. He's powerful. I'll give him that, but I still know in my heart that he is NO match for my Savior, and it is in Him that I will continue to put my trust. "Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.' He will cover me with His feathers, and under His Wings I will find refuge." ~Psalm 91:1-4 I could end this post here, and I think my point could be made, but I want to add one more quick thought. I've been writing this particular blogpost for several days here and there as I have a few minutes to sit and focus and write. It's been yet another dark week for me, (I've had lots of those lately) and as I've been writing this one I have repeatedly thought...no one cares other than my family. Not really. So why am I even bothering to express myself here? (That's Satan again....working overtime.) Then, out of the blue at an event this weekend, someone approached me and asked me point blank..."Are you okay? I've been watching you from a distance for a while now in person and on social media and you just don't seem yourself. You and I just need to go get some supper together one night and catch up." If she's reading this right now, I want her to know that I am grateful for her concern and public expression of that to me. It gave me a renewed sense of Hope. God used her to let me know there ARE people that DO care. In addition, I think our conversation was meant to remind me that HE cares and He's going to continue to give me that Peace that I am so desperate for. Wow! I serve an awesome God! In my closet, I have tons of scripture posted that I look at daily. I also have this quote which, other than particular Bible verses, is probably my favorite to remember.... ....and I think it's time for me to take this to heart. So, I have decided that if I'm feeling "less than" for any reason... I'm going to do my best to remove that reason from my life (as best I can anyway). I know, I know...it just means Satan will try something else to influence my thoughts, but I'm holding firm to the Truth. So, in thinking about that Cool Kids Adult Club situation... consent denied. If my words have struck a chord with you in any way, I'd like to encourage you to read this book. God might want to shine a spotlight on your heart just like he did mine. Maybe you're feeling "uninvited"...or maybe, just maybe, you're the one doing the "uninviting" and you don't even realize it. Either way, Lysa TerKeurst can help you figure it out. In the meantime, as always, I ask you to pray for me and my emotional well-being. I'll be praying for you as well! Until next time,
~D “Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.” – Maya Angelou On July 9, 1966, two young, strong, independent people...a 22-yr-old girl and a 24-yr-old guy... decided to drive over to Aiken, SC and stand before a Justice of the Peace promising love and faithfulness to each other in every circumstance that might come their way...in "better, richer, healthier" times... and also in "worse, poorer, sicker" times. There was no big fanfare that day....no expensive wedding dress...no pictures...no family or friends, but I can assure you there was PLENTY of love... and respect... and hope for their new journey together. If you do the math, that means tomorrow should be their 50th wedding anniversary, and because these incredible people are our parents, my sister and I have had the plans in the works for months...a special reception to honor them and the great love they've shared all these years. However, our plans for a Golden Anniversary celebration were put aside when our God's Plan prevailed, and we said a final goodbye to our Daddy on April 12th of this year. If you know much about me at all, then you should be well-informed about my parents and their extraordinary life stories by now. If not, please take time to read them. You can find them here: "My Hero Is the Strong Silent Type" and here: "A Steel Magnolia Hits 70". The rest of this post will make a lot more sense if you do. :) "What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” – Helen Keller It's still SO hard to realize that he's gone. When I think about Mama, I just automatically think about Daddy. They've always been a "package deal".... "Mary & Kerry".... "Mama & Daddy"...."Mema & Papa". It's just a natural combination in my mind, and I'm just not willing to let that bond go. It is SO very deep in me, and even though he's been walking streets of gold for several months now, I've decided that a "Golden Love" like my parents shared still deserves to be honored. It needs to be celebrated, so that's what this post is all about. Let me show you... “Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.” – Nicole Krauss Obviously, I wasn't there, but I have often imagined how that first encounter between Mama and Daddy went. Daddy was a long-time student at the Georgia School for the Deaf, starting as a very young boy. Mama was a newcomer much later in their teen years. I know in my heart that handsome Kerry (the red-headed sports hunk) was instantly smitten with pretty Mary (the new girl with plenty of spunk), and I think Mama was simply starstruck by his attention. He was, without question, Mama's "knight in shining armor".....a beacon of light in her very silent world. “Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.” – Bruce Lee Time kept moving, and along with it, Mary Louise & Kerry built a beautiful life together that resulted in two long successful careers, a dedicated church life, and most importantly two daughters, two sons-in-law, and three grandchildren. Mema & Papa have always ADORED their little family...particularly those grandbabies from the moment they knew they were going to be grandparents! “You are the finest, loveliest, tenderest, and most beautiful person I have ever known and even that is an understatement.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald Even so, the bottom line is this... other than their God, they loved no one more than they did each other. They were inseparable. They cherished every.single.moment they had together. From 1966-1992, they went and did and enjoyed life to the fullest with their deaf friends. When life changed dramatically for them in 1993 with Daddy's severe stroke, I watched them through my own adult eyes as they tackled it head-on together. They promised "In sickness and in health..." remember? Daddy was totally dependent on Mama (his sole care-giver) for the last 23 years of his life, and Mama wouldn't have had it any other way. They were a VERY special couple. “I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.” – Elizabeth Browning Of all the pictures of Mama & Daddy that I've collected or taken myself over the years, I will cherish these next two the most because they are the last I have of the two of them together from the last week of Daddy's life. I sat in a corner in the hospital room and just watched them interact. I think they honestly forgot I was even there. No words to each other this time...no signing....just looks... and smiles... and nods. I'm telling you, sometimes they even had their own unspoken language between them that just warms me to my core. My Daddy loved my Mama SO much. Even when she would nod off from exhaustion, he would still just stare at her...taking in her very essence for reassurance. "To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.” – David Viscott Simply by watching Mama & Daddy over the years, my sister and I have had the very BEST example of marriage and what it truly means to be committed to your spouse. I will be eternally grateful for their faithfulness to each other. Mama, I know you are reading this, so now I am talking to you specifically. Heather and I know you miss Daddy every moment of every day. We also know how important getting to this 50th year milestone was to both of you. We say that you made it, Mama. Fifty-PLUS "golden" years! Your and Daddy's love for each other will live on WAY beyond 2016! We're so proud of you for your incredible courage and amazing strength! Happy Anniversary, Mama! We will NEVER forget our Daddy and Papa....the great Love of your life! |
AuthorHi! I'm Dot. I refuse to succumb to the "empty nest syndrome"! So, this is my journal.....my photo album.....my attempt to enjoy the next chapter of my life as it unfolds. Welcome to The Roomy Nest! Archives
January 2020
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