“New Year - a new chapter, new verse, or just the same old story ? Ultimately we write it. The choice is ours.” It's taken me a month to get this written, but here goes... 2016 wasn't a great year for me. Frankly, it was one of the worst I can ever remember in my life. I won't get into the specifics here. If you know me at all you already know at least some of the causes. At any rate, I praise my God because after MUCH prayer, He has lifted a very thick, dark cloud from me, and I FINALLY feel like I am breathing deep, clean breaths of Hope again. It is an incredible feeling! You know how it feels when you've been wearing the wrong prescription glasses or contacts, and you look through the correct strength for the first time? Everything seems so clean and clear and crisp, right? I feel very much like that right now. There are things I've been doing that suddenly seem so very emotionally toxic, and yet there are other things that I SHOULD have been doing that I told myself I just didn't have time to do. With God's Help, that flawed mentality is evolving into something better....something healthier. So, using this as my springboard, I've chosen a word (not a bunch of "resolutions")... just one word...to be my focus throughout 2017. That word is "simplify". SIMPLIFY: v. To make less complex or complicated. It is my hope that by simplifying my life, I can get rid of some of the "junk" that has been weighing me down...and that's both figuratively and literally. So where does one begin when simplifying is the desire? Well, I did a little Googling, and I ran across a helpful article that focuses on that very thing. Here's what it boiled down to.... I'm already doing a few of these on the list. Thanks to Lysa TerKeurst, the word "no" (#7) is no longer a problem for me! I've also made it a priority in the last few months to "de-clutter" (#2) and "own less" (#4) by donating items of clothing & seldom-used household goods, while also trashing things that aren't any good to anyone anywhere...and then taking that next step of realizing it doesn't need to be replaced (which, by the way also helps tremendously with that constant goal I'm striving for of being able to "live debtfree" (#9)! "Spending time disconnected" (#10) has gotten much easier for me, too, since I've realized how important a routine "digital detox" is for "limiting negativity" (#13) and preserving my mental well-being. In addition, I'm so glad to report that I'm FINALLY back in the basement most afternoons gettin' the ol' heart rate going by "moving" (#14) on the elliptical or treadmill and doing my best to make better food choices as well. Yay, me! :) So....let's see...that's # 2, 4, 7, 9, 10, 13 & 14. That would be 7 out of 15....pretty good, but it looks like I've still got some work to do! Let's talk about a few that I am really (truly!) trying to wrap my brain around. Specifically, #1, 3 & 6. #1 -- Slow Down -- Well, I guess it's important to know when to sit down and prop the feet up. This has never been easy for me, but I'm making the effort. I'm trying to tell myself (both at home and at work)..."If it doesn't get done today, it's okay. It'll still be here waiting on me tomorrow!" (But, I have to admit, old habits die hard, and I REALLY just want to start each day with a clean slate. I mean, think about it... am I "simplifying" today only to realize that I've complicated tomorrow??) The jury's still out. <heavy sigh> Moving on... #3 -- Forget the Small Stuff (go 80/20) -- My husband tells me ALL the time..."You worry too much!" I know he's right. The worst part is...I worry about stuff that really doesn't matter at all. The same is true for my everyday focus. I daresay 80% of the stuff I try to tackle everyday is so insignificant that most people wouldn't even acknowledge it, much less DO anything about it. So, this idea is simply to focus on the 20% that really matters. I'm definitely going to work on this one! #6 -- Leave Multitasking to Someone Else -- Now THIS is an area that I find fascinating! For as long as I can remember, I've been a Multitasker. You know...the person that tries to juggle about six (or eight!) tasks simultaneously...maybe you're one, too. I AM proud to say that I can usually do it and complete all six tasks successfully, BUT I am absolutely brain-fried and anxious and downright ornery when I'm done. I find no joy at the other end of the process... just some form of relief. So, imagine my delight when I discovered that there's a new trend emerging... "Monotasking"! MONOTASKING: n. The carrying out of one task at a time. This makes SO much sense! When we focus on accomplishing one thing at a time, we are living in THAT moment... totally experiencing THAT thing. We're "all in", and I think that's a good thing for our brains. Here's a good illustration of this concept... #5, 8, 11 and 15 are all pretty clear to me, and yet, ideas that I need to do a better job subscribing to on a more regular basis! Now, I know that what the word "simplify" means to me may be very different from what it means to you. These fifteen ways can be interpreted very differently based on what each of us holds as important, and that's where my final point kicks in here. See, there's one point from the list that I haven't addressed yet, but I think it's the most important one of all. #12 -- Make Sure You're Chasing the Right Prize Let's face it, we all do what we do for a reason. There's an end result (a.k.a. "a prize") that we're trying to achieve whether we realize it or not. Maybe we're trying to set a good example for our children to follow. Maybe we want to help others. Maybe we want to impress the boss and earn that promotion. Maybe (let's be honest here), we want to prove we're as put together as the "kool kids". Or maybe our baby birds have left the nest and we're searching for our new purpose in life. Recently, I had a very meaningful conversation with a dear friend of mine about this very thing. Mid-life ain't easy, y'all, and I'll be the first to admit that I've been really contemplating the "what now?" question for almost a year now. “People may call what happens at midlife ‘a crisis,’ but it’s not. It’s an unraveling – a time when you feel a desperate pull to live the life you want to live, not the one you’re ‘supposed’ to live. The unraveling is a time when you are challenged by the universe to let go of who you think you are supposed to be and to embrace who you are.” ~ Brené Brown See, when my Daddy died back in April 2016, I had an epiphany...something that would seem so obvious and yet.... it really made me think about how we only get ONE life.... and what am I doing with mine? Is it enough? Why am I here? Am I leaving my mark? Will people remember me when I'm gone? and, if so, what will they remember about me? Am I finding joy in my every day? Sure, I do for others all the time, but am I honoring MYSELF? What am I passionate about? Am I following that path just for me? It's crystal clear to me that I MUST "simplify" in order to find my joy. THIS is the "prize" I want to chase, and the absolute best part is that I KNOW my God is in this. I'm just too overwhelmed with Peace for it not to be His Doing. I just finished reading The Magnolia Story by that super-cute, super-talented, super-awesome HGTV couple Chip & Joanna Gaines. Toward the end of the book, Joanna talks about her struggle with unhappiness and an unrealistic perception of perfectionism (gee, thanks Facebook & Pinterest!). She says.... "I felt like I was just surviving...not thriving, and I knew it was up to me to flip that switch." ~Joanna Gaines So, then she had her own epiphany..... "Letting it all go is freeing. Getting our intentions right simplifies (there's that word, y'all) our decisions in life and changes our perspective. And in the end, what it's all about is thankfulness and contentment." ~Joanna Gaines So, I ask you, dear Reader, are you thriving or just surviving? Is your current "prize" helping or hurting you? You'll get no judgement from me regardless of your answers to those questions because life is different for each one of us (...and also because I don't want any judgement from you either! LOL)! I DO want to encourage you to figure out what that one word is that you can focus on this year to make your journey better. As for me? I'm choosing to SIMPLIFY...and thrive! :) Until next time,
~D
6 Comments
Sue Cashwell
2/3/2017 04:06:54 pm
I just retired in January, after 48 years of chasing " a living" and realized, that maybe I forgot to really live. I am going through decompression, and it will take a while. Love your page and I plan to follow it. You are talented in so many ways!
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Matt Blankenship
2/3/2017 04:33:47 pm
Nice job Dot. Keep chasing simpler. I need to do the same.
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Nadine
2/3/2017 06:19:09 pm
Wow!! Thank you for sharing such a powerful, honest and heartfelt message. My 2017 theme is "Live Each Day to the Fullest - filled with faith and gratitude"!!!" Now, I need to simplify it!! My thoughts and prayers are with you, each day. You and your precious children have touched my heart! ❤❤❤ 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
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Selena Blankenship
2/3/2017 07:31:49 pm
There are so many things I love about this post, Dot. I was impressed by many nuggets of wisdom in The Magnolia Story, and your post reminds me of the things I want to work on in my own life on a daily basis. I just read the book Essential ism, and it resonated with me as well. You might enjoy it. Love you, friend!
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Sherri Rampey
2/4/2017 10:16:18 am
Thank you dear friend. This read was like a Sunday morning sermon to me just now!! I needed this more than you know. Hopefully I will be able to indoctrinate it into my daily routine and thus become a better me!!! Love you immensely!
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Ashley Crane
2/7/2017 03:48:05 pm
Dot, While reading I felt as though you were talking directly to me! Hmmmm? Still working on "my purpose" but your heartfelt message certainly helps with sorting it all out. You've given me so many things to consider and work towards to help me figure out "my prize". Love you sweet friend!
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AuthorHi! I'm Dot. I refuse to succumb to the "empty nest syndrome"! So, this is my journal.....my photo album.....my attempt to enjoy the next chapter of my life as it unfolds. Welcome to The Roomy Nest! Archives
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