"If you want to change attitudes, start with a change in behavior." ~William Glasser I need an attitude change.....that's for sure.....because things are getting darker and more cynical in my lil' ol' brain every single day. I keep telling myself that it's not me....it's everybody else's attitudes that need adjusting. Time to face the truth...it IS me. Well, at least I'm the only person I can control...attitude-wise.....behavior-wise... so, I guess that's who I need to focus on. Baffled by my bizarre babble? Let me hit the rewind button and give you the backstory. In the Rutherford household, way back in the early years of the 21st Century (2005, maybe?), before the Facebook phenomenon hit our family, there was Bebo. After that came.... ...yep, good ol' MySpace. Who else remembers these two social networking sites? Anyone?? Well, I sure do because I created an account in both cyber-camps. However, it wasn't for any interaction with my own peers. Far from it! No, back in those days, our daughter was a middle-schooler with profiles on both of these sites, and NBC's "To Catch a Predator" show seemed to be airing every time I turned around. I was consumed with the idea that she might be caught.....by a low-down, good-for-nothing, slithering, creepy predator....and this Mama Bird wasn't about to let that happen! So, I created my own profiles on both sites (she had to accept my friend requests.....that was the deal) in order to just "stand guard" on the World Wide Web. That's the honest-to-goodness truth. It never occurred to me at that point to become "socially inclined" online because, frankly, no one I knew (other than Chelsea's friends) was on it networking anyway. ...but then....this happened.... ....and all of a sudden it was a brand-new world! I could reconnect with folks from my college days.....high school days....even my childhood! These were people I had not laid eyes on for YEARS!! It. Was. Awesome! Truly, it was like a big ol' cyber-reunion complete with long lost yearbook pics and images of beautiful growing families and sugar and spice and everything nice! Best part? I could "hang out" with these folks from the confines of my own home....wearing my PJs and no makeup! SCORE!! I even created a page for my husband because he wasn't interested in it and thought it was pure poppycock. I told him that if he'd give it a chance I just knew he would love it. (By the way, I'm thinking about opening a fortune-telling business 'cause I sure was right about THAT prediction!) Anyway, Facebook has been a staple in my life for quite some time. In fact, I wasn't sure exactly how long I've been addicted to its charms, so I decided to take a field trip back into my Facebook archives and found this post from our daughter (by this point, a high school Freshman) teasing me for, once again, being that social media helicopter parent.... So, it would seem I've had this love-hate relationship with the mighty Facebook since November of 2006. That's eight years and three months. Lately, though, I have been pondering this whole thing pretty seriously because I am finding that, for me, there is a direct correlation between my cynicism and the amount of time I spend scrolling my Facebook newsfeed. That giddy "Facebook is SO cool!" feeling I used to have is no longer there. Sure, I still feel connected to those folks that I mentioned above that got me hooked from the start, and I DO love to keep up with those that are miles away, but there's a new twist to this whole FB thing for me now. I find myself reading some people's posts (a little closer to home) and become quickly frustrated that some get a bazillion likes and comments while others (who have the same type announcement, issue, problem, concern, request) receive NO attention at all.....and they have the very same "Friend List" for the most part. Kinda' makes me start to question the idea of Facebook "friends." At any rate, I decided to do some research. Turns out, I'm not alone. LOTS of folks are starting to see the downside to constant connection with social media and many are turning in their FB profiles for a simpler way of life. You know...back to the dark ages when we were more concerned about what was happening in our own REAL world...way back in 2002! (Google the phrase "Why I Left Social Media" and see for yourself!) I believe we have crossed a dangerous threshold into a place where even we (the middle-agers) are finding it difficult to put our technology away for any length of time. It's become a really bad habit......for some, maybe even a full-blown addiction. It frightens me a bit. Recently, all four of us (in my immediate family) were home together for a quick 24-hour visit. I realized that for a hefty chunk of that time, all four of us had our cellphones out and were in our own cyber-worlds when we SHOULD have put those blasted devices away and been soaking up every minute of the time we had together! We, as a society, have GOT to wake up and stop this incessant cycle of posting constant stuff in hopes of getting instant validation from "friends." We've also got to take a step back from constantly feeding those needy online personas that seem to camp out on our newsfeeds! Please don't misunderstand me. I'm not anti-social media at all! Facebook....Instagram...Twitter......Pinterest... and on and on and on......They all have their place and their purpose, but the lines between fiction and non-fiction are really starting to blur. I have no use for people who act one way online for the masses to see and a totally different way when there's no one there to give them the ol' "FB thumbs up". Yes, those people do exist. "To change a habit, make a conscious decision, then act out the new behavior." ~Maxwell Maltz So....back to that original quote at the beginning of this post as well as the one above....the ones about changing behaviors in order to change attitudes. I haven't enjoyed the new attitudes taking up residence inside of me. So, I decided to figure out a way to bring some better behaviors back into my life. It's definitely a work in progress with some days better than others, but, here's the deal........ For the last few weeks, I have made a conscious effort to NOT scroll down my Facebook newsfeed on a regular basis. It has helped me tremendously. While I don't know a lot of the local social news these days, I am also enjoying the notion of "ignorance is bliss" when it comes to some of the ridiculous posts that usually make my head pound. I am also trying very hard to not be concerned with how many likes one of my posts may or may not get or........ more importantly, who chose to like it and who didn't. (That has been a REAL source of hurt for me, which I realize is completely ridiculous, but unfortunately true.) I am doing a better job at reminding myself of the following: Frankly, it is my opinion that others would do well to read this reminder on a regular basis as well. I haven't deleted my profile and probably won't ever do so since it is part of my job as Library Media Specialist at our local high school to maintain our school's website and Facebook page. I enjoy that part of my job immensely and find it to be a very useful tool to get information out to our students and parents. I also plan to continue to post things on my own personal pages (this blog included) from time to time because social media can and does bring me joy when my real-world-friends and I can connect. So, yes, there ARE good things about Social Media when used with a little bit of maturity and good ol' common sense. I HAVE, however, decided that a form of "digital detox" might be just what the therapist ordered. In addition to the changes I've made for myself, my husband and I have also made the decision to put our cellphones/laptops away (as in...in another room...on another floor of our home) for the majority of our evenings and just enjoy each other's company while catching up on our favorite TV shows and discussing them together or just talking with each other about our day or plans for upcoming days. Committing to this "Semi-Digital Detox" has made a TON of difference in our life together here in the "Roomy Nest." So, what about you? Do you feel the need to go off the cyber-grid for a bit? Are you so busy making sure everyone knows about your life that you don't have time to really live it? Let me leave you with this link to ponder. (I'm not suggesting that you wipe out Facebook or any other form of social media from your app list. I'm simply encouraging you to scroll down and read the 10 "what-ifs" in the article by Matthew Warner and see if those could be some first steps toward you having your own Semi-Digital Detox.) http://theradicallife.org/the-real-reason-to-quit-facebook-and-10-what-ifs "The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it." ~ Henry David Thoreau As for me.....well, I'm taking back some control for my own sanity. The price has gotten too high. My techno-toxins have got to be managed. It's time. Thanks for reading.
Until next time, ~Dot
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AuthorHi! I'm Dot. I refuse to succumb to the "empty nest syndrome"! So, this is my journal.....my photo album.....my attempt to enjoy the next chapter of my life as it unfolds. Welcome to The Roomy Nest! Archives
January 2020
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