"The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence." ~~Denis Waitly They're gone now. Both of 'em. Just like that. I feel like I JUST took that picture on the left about three or four years ago in our cozy little nest, but...well...I guess not. Now, they are both at college. Our girl is a Senior and our boy is a Freshman! They're both at the same school, which is somewhat of a comfort, but that still makes for a very...well...ahem..."roomy" nest. <heavy sigh!> Here's the deal. When our daughter went to college, it was different at home...no doubt! A little less laundry....one less placemat at the dinner table. We really missed her when it was realized that we'd be providing taxi service for our son again! :) Bottom line, though, was that there was still a very busy family calendar. Activity was still plentiful in our nest. Yes, I missed her, but I was okay. "When mothers talk about the depression of the empty nest, they're not mourning the passing of all those wet towels on the floor, or the music that numbs your teeth, or even the bottle of capless shampoo dribbling down the shower drain. They're upset because they've gone from supervisor of a child's life to a spectator. It's like being the vice president of the United States." ~~Erma Bombeck Now? Wow! Now is a very different story. We've just moved our son to college. In fact, he's been gone exactly one week. Yep. One full week of a very roomy nest here at home. Don't get me wrong! I don't love our son more than our daughter. Also, if you're thinking that I'm dreading sharing the nest with only my hubby for the next 50 or so years, that's not correct either! (He and I are closer than we've ever been!) It's just that I miss being the kind of Mama I've been for the last 21 1/2 years. Sure, I'll always be their Mama, but I'm already realizing that they don't need me like they once did anymore. That's what really breaks my heart more than anything. See, I need for them to need me. I need that really badly! <heavy sigh!> However, life keeps moving. Baby birds grow up. They leave their Mama's (and Daddy's) nest and fly out into the world. They collect pieces of life and eventually they make their own nests. It's how it's supposed to be. However, if I'm to be perfectly honest, I must admit, I'm a bit emotional right now. I'm kind of lost. I'm a tad bit sad. In a way, I feel as if I'm mourning a loss. I mean no disrespect to someone who has literally experienced the loss of a child. I can't even begin to fathom what that must be like. However, I DO feel as if I'm experiencing a loss. I guess it's more like closure on a chapter of my life, and that is something I just can't wrap my mind around just yet. In my mind, this picture is what my nest will always look like. The four of us.....circled up......enjoying each other's company in one place.....at the same time. Maybe, just maybe, my birds will fly back to the nest from time to time. Who knows? They may just bring some new birds into my nest, too! Wouldn't that be interesting? In the meantime, I'm going to embrace our roomy nest. It's NOT "empty".....just....."roomy". Whatever shape your nest is in right now, stretch out and find the joy. That's what I'm going to do. Until next time, ~Dot
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"If you don't like something, change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it." ~Mary Engelbreit Change. It's something that I'm not always comfortable with, if I'm to be perfectly honest. Now, let me say up front, I'm NOT one of those folks that is vehemently opposed to change. (You know the ones....."We've always done it this way!"...... "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" Blah! Those folks bring me down big time!) I DO know that change is inevitable in life. However, the closer change happens to me, personally, the harder it is to shift gears and just accept it without a bit of an internal .......what's the word?......"struggle?"....... "fight?"....... maybe it's "meltdown." Anyway, bottom line......change is here, up close and very personal, in my life right now. Change is happening at home. Change is happening in my extended family circumstances. Change is happening in my church. Change is definitely happening at my workplace. "Our anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it." ~Kahlil Gibran Here's the best news of all about change for me. (Well, I think it's good news....others may have a different opinion about this.) I, too, am changing! Yep. It's true! See, here's the thing. Those that know me well enough know that I can handle change....as long as I can control the circumstances. Hello! My name is Dot, and I'm a control freak. There. I said it. I have an innate NEED to control things (and yes, I'll admit it, people too!). Frankly, it's a trait that I've viewed as a curse from time to time throughout my life. I want ......no I NEED to fix things. Things need to run smoothly in life, and in my little mind, I think I'm the only one who can make that happen, not only for myself, but also for all the other folks in my life. Again, these folks are family members, friends, and even co-workers! It's enough to take me to places mentally and emotionally that aren't good places for me to be hanging out! I've prayed diligently for my God to give me a peace about this very thing, and I think He's giving me this new perspective now. I truly believe I'm finally changing in this area! This is big for me.....really BIG! "Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't." ~Steve Maraboli If you're still with me, and you've read all the way to this point in the post, you may be thinking...."How corny!" or "Dot's clearly losing her marbles......one quote at a time." I don't blame you for having this opinion of me. I, too, think it at times, but I'm actually feeling pretty good today......right now....at this very moment. Change is happening, and I'm rolling with it! Take a look at this picture again: I almost trashed this picture. It was one I took just to get my lighting figured out on a cloudy day out by the pool. I mean, look at it. It's the backside of the flower. You can't even see the "pretty bloom" that was super large that particular day. However, the more I looked at this shot, the more I liked it better than any I took from the front. I can't explain it other than to say I see beauty here, too, and I wanted to honor that beauty and thank God for giving me this lesson in perspective. I'm looking at things differently these days, and I gotta tell you......I'm LOVING what I see! "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change!" ~Dr. Wayne Dyer It's all about perspective! How are you perceiving your life today? I hope you see beauty, peace, and joy!
Until next time, ~Dot "Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly." ~Robert Schuller See that quote? It was the Real Simple "Daily Thought" sent to my inbox a couple of days ago. I've given it a lot of thought, and decided that there's a lot of truth to it. Don't you agree? See, here's the deal. I LOVE taking pictures! I have taken thousands and thousands of pictures over the years. As my interest in photography grew, I started soaking up as much information as I could about the craft. Taking classes (in real life and online), subscribing to blogs, and, well, practicing what I learned....over and over and over! When I upload a set of pictures, I always feel a sense of excitement, hoping that at least ONE of the 276 images I took (in a 15 minute period!) turns out okay. Most times, I can gather enough from a shoot to make a fairly decent album. Then, I usually hit a snag.... "Comparison is the thief of joy." ~Theodore Roosevelt I tend to look at my pictures and immediately compare them to those taken by other people. Mine aren't as crystal clear...mine aren't as richly colored....mine don't evoke that gasp of deep appreciation....well, you get the idea. I'm without question my own worst critic. (That goes for all areas of my life...not just photography, by the way.) So, my quest for that "Wow Factor" continues. In my most recent online class, something FINALLY clicked and for the first time in my life, I am shooting in 100% Manual Mode! For the very talented/knowledgeable photographers in my area that may be reading this, I realize that this is nothing so extraordinary. However, for someone like me who has until now depended on the presets on my DSLR camera (...you know..."portrait mode"..."running man mode", etc.), this is a BIG deal! I feel the need to give the guys over at shootflyshoot.com a big ol' shoutout for their very clear explanation of shooting in manual. Thank you, Kevin & Josh!! Seriously, you guys are awesome! :) So, here's a picture I took last week...in manual mode! :) It is truly SOOC, meaning "Straight Out Of Camera" with no editing done to it at all. Even though I think it's pretty darn good, I immediately start telling myself that it could be better. I used to think editing a picture was "cheating", but I'm learning that most ALL photographers edit their images in one way or another. So, I no longer view it as cheating, but, rather, "enhancing" my images. I use PSE10 (Photoshop Elements) and PicMonkey. I like both for different reasons. Anyway, here's the same image after a "Clean Edit".... See what I mean? It truly is simply "enhanced" ....very subtle changes, but more pleasing to my eye. The colors are just a touch sharper. There is a touch more light. I have found that my images don't need as much editing if they are shot in Manual Mode. Kinda weird! I would think that the camera presets would be best, but it seems that perhaps the camera doesn't always know what's best after all. Anyway, so I could stop here and be perfectly content, but.....aw, heck...who am I kidding??! I'm ready to try something else with my pictures, so....these days, I've become obsessed with textures! I have seen blogs that texturize every single picture they edit. I'm not sure I'll be texturizing pictures of people anytime soon, but I DO like the effect on my nature pictures. So, with that said, take a look at my latest texture experiment... This image makes me happy! Isn't it pretty? It's kinda' "artsy-looking." :) I should be good now, right? Well........, I am venturing into a part of the editing world that I know very little about. I am already worrying that someone will see this and immediately spot the imperfections in my latest interest, but I'm trying to keep those feelings under control. I'm mean, after all.... "Don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle." ~Jon Acuff So, am I "flawless"?? Hardly! Trust me, "imperfections" abound, but I'm learning to be kinder to myself. I'm trying my very best to see the good in my efforts and appreciate my journey for what it is... a journey...not a finish line! I hope you're finding joy in your journey, too!
Until next time, ~Dot P.S. I've posted a few more of my Texture experiments on my Photography page if you're interested. These cinnamon rolls are baked fresh daily at a little bakery in our small town. They are, without question, "heavenly sinful"!
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AuthorHi! I'm Dot. I refuse to succumb to the "empty nest syndrome"! So, this is my journal.....my photo album.....my attempt to enjoy the next chapter of my life as it unfolds. Welcome to The Roomy Nest! Archives
January 2020
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