“You have three types of friends in life: Friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime.” ~ Ziad K. Abdelnour The folks on this porch are some of THE coolest people you could ever have the good fortune to meet. I'm telling you, their life stories are simply fascinating! Here's the thing, if you want to get their stories from their perspective, you'll have to learn to speak their language, and you'll have to be able to keep up with some fast-moving fingers, hands, and arms! Think you're up for it? Trust me, it's challenging......even for me, and American Sign Language is my "first language"! Are you totally confused? Keep reading. Here's the story... These are my parents. I love them with a fierce, protective love that is, quite frankly, beyond what many would deem to be a "normal" daughter-parent bond. That's okay, though, since we are far from "the norm." If this is your first time stopping by The Roomy Nest, you may need a little explanation via backstory. You can find that info in a couple of my previous blogposts here: http://theroomynest.weebly.com/my-blog/my-hero-is-the-strong-silent-type and here: http://theroomynest.weebly.com/my-blog/a-steel-magnolia-hits-70 Go ahead.....read them now. I'll be right here waiting when you get caught up. :) So, you see, bottom line.....my parents are both deaf. They met at a magical place, fell in love, and the rest is history! That magical place, aka, The Georgia School for the Deaf (GSD) in Cave Springs, GA, was also where some lifelong friendships were made with other fascinating human beings much like my parents, and those friendships have been going strong for almost 70 years! In fact, they all lived in South Georgia as neighbors for about 40 of those years, but the separation was necessary when my sister and I moved our parents north several years ago to be closer to family due to Daddy's health issues. While I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do, man, oh, man did I struggle with the decision. In essence, I was moving them away from these dear friends who are, without question, their (and my) 'family' as well. Here's Ann with me and my parents back in the 70s. She is older than Mama & Daddy, and she was in the upper grades at GSD when my Daddy arrived on campus as a six-year-old boy. She had actually graduated and moved on with her life before Mama got there years later, but, clearly, they were meant to be friends because they bonded after they were adults. Trust me when I tell ya', those two women should have been named "Thelma & Louise" for all the mischief they would get into together. :) Ann was married to the love of her life, Roscoe (also deaf), for a very long time. Roscoe is now with our Lord waiting on his beloved to join him there on those Streets of Gold one day. She has two adult sons (both hearing) and four grandsons. These days, Mama & Ann talk to each other on their VRS (Video Relay System....much like Skype) at least once a day. Here she is now... what a beauty....inside & out! Now, here we are with Janice & Clinton (also circa 1975ish)... The similarities between these two couples is remarkable! Daddy and Clinton both started attending/living at GSD as very young boys. Mama and Janice both ended up there as much older teenagers. The men did every sport offered. The girls did "girlie stuff" and batted their flirty eyelashes at their boyfriends. :) These days, Janice & Clinton are retired (Clinton worked at the same Post Office with my Daddy for many, many years) and they have three adult children...all hearing...and several grandchildren as well. Here they are now.... "A thing is mighty big when time and distance cannot shrink it." ~Zora Neale Hurston A couple of weeks ago, these sweet folks were all able to spend a few days together when the South Georgians made the drive to see their "friends up north" and oh, what a great time of reunion it was! They ate, they talked (hands were flying, by the way), and I watched them have a wonderful visit. We even took them on a mini-field trip around our stomping grounds. Take a look... Those BFFs even tried their hand with a Selfie Stick! Fun! :) "True friends never apart....maybe in distance, but never in heart." ~Helen Keller I am who I am, in large part, due to these people and the amazing influence they've had on my life. I don't know anyone more courageous than these dear folks. I would like to hope that if God ever chooses to take something away from me....my hearing....my sight.....that I'd have the strength and grace to move on with my life-- always seeking the positives-- like these five people have done their entire lives. They ARE the definition of "Super Heroes" in my book! “No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other's worth.” ― Robert Southey So, Janice, Clinton, Ann, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for making the trip to see Mama & Daddy! It means SO much to us that you cared enough to come! You are our family! I love you more than you know! ...and for you, dear Reader, thanks for stopping by! Cherish your friendships....let them know how important they are to you. Also, let's remember to always give thanks to our God every single day for His Blessings in our lives. They are all around us. We just need to stop long enough to realize it. Until next time, ~Dot
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"There is little success where there is little laughter." ~Andrew Carnegie This picture was taken by Mercer Harris back in 1997. Chelsea was five and Trey was two. This is one of my most favorite pictures of our children. They just look so incredibly happy. I think Mercer's wife was blowing bubbles or something, and Trey was just beside himself with laughter. See? He's even holding his belly. :) Even Chelsea (who was very grownup at the ripe old age of 5) seemed to be enjoying the silliness. I also love that they are holding hands. They might have been told to do so, but it looks pretty genuine to me. Our kids have had that age-old "love/hate sibling relationship" over the years, but I really DO believe they love each other deep down. They are very different in many ways, but one thing they do well together is laugh. In fact, the four of us as a family always seem to throw laughter into the mix at some point. I think that's why we actually enjoy being together........silly, sarcastic, back & forth dialogue that, at times, literally has me holding my own belly of laughter! Someone said recently in a Facebook post that we need to come up with a comedy routine. My husband's reply was that we are just a "family of improv," and I think he's absolutely correct! There's rarely a dull moment when we all get together. I agree with the quote above. I believe we are a very successful family. No, I'm not talking about "having stuff"......not that kind of success. I'm talking about being the kind of successful family that actually wants to spend time together, simply enjoying each other's company.....laughing. I thank God for blessing me with children that still (at 19 and 22 years old) want to hang out with their old Mom and Dad. I hope they will always want to be in each other's lives as well. They've been fortunate (or not so much depending on what day you ask them) to attend the same college and live in the same town for a bit. However, once Big Sis completes this Masters program, she'll be flying out even further on her own to build yet another nest for herself, and they are going to have to make the time to see each other. I hope they'll make the effort. I pray they will. "There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor." ~Charles Dickens So, do you have laughter in your life? I sure hope so. If not, I'm praying you find something to give you that good ol' belly laugh soon!
Until next time, ~D "A sheltered life can be a daring life as well. For all serious daring starts from within." ~Eudora Welty In honor of this big vacation week here in our small town when everyone (except the Rutherfords) heads to the beach, I give you..... "Dot's First Beach Trip!" I've said it before here at The Roomy Nest, and I'll say it again: I had a very sheltered childhood. Take a look at the picture for today's Monday Memory. It's probably circa 1972 or 1973 since I look to be about 4 or 5. My great-aunt Mattie Bell probably has my left hand in a death grip while I hold Winnie (yes, "the Pooh") in my own right-handed death grip. I can almost feel her manicured fingernails digging into my flesh! :) The other two protectors are my great-aunt/uncle Vernon & Bud. The photographer of this shot was my great-aunt Polly. (Mattie Bell, Vernon, and Polly were sisters of my grandfather.) I spent LOTS of time with these people growing up, and they had a HUGE influence on my life. This beach trip was an extremely rare occurrence, and, clearly, they were afraid of the dangerous possibilities since I had never been exposed to the ocean before. Thus, they circled the wagons around to protect me from possible drowning in ankle-deep water or the sharks that might have me for a midday snack. (#sarcasm). :) In all seriousness, I love this picture because it sums up my entire childhood/teen years in one single image. These people loved me, took care of me, taught me, and protected me from most everything you can imagine. Some of those things were warranted while others have been things I've had to face as an adult for the first time in my life. They kept a constant circle of protection around me which, in some ways, has crippled me as an adult as I've tried to wade through the waters of life. I know they meant well, and I'll be eternally grateful for them as long as I live, but I've tried to raise my own children a bit differently in some respects. I believe children must be allowed to face some things in life as early as possible and find a way to deal with them. After all, one day, they'll look around to realize the folks that encircled them with that fierce sense of love & protection are no longer around to do it. That's when the rubber REALLY meets the road! I should know. You probably do, too. "My heritage has been my grounding, and it has brought me peace." ~Maureen O'Hara I think of these precious people quite often in my day-to-day life, and I miss them terribly! There are so many things I'd love to be able to share with them now. Polly & Bud died when I was a young girl, Vernon died not long after I got married, and my sweet Mattie Bell left this earth just 4 1/2 years ago. I know that I wouldn't be the woman I am today (the good and the not-so-good) without their influence in my life. Thank you, God, for including them in Your Plan for my life! What a huge blessing! Until next time,
~D "We don't stop going to school when we graduate." This picture was taken on June 10, 1990 right after my graduation ceremony from Mercer University in Macon, GA (Go Bears!) . I had just earned a B.A. in Early Childhood Education, was getting married in a little over a month, and thought I had my life all figured out....at the ripe old age of 22 years old. Wow! Carol Burnett sure knew what she was talking about in the quote above. The graduate in that picture still had LOTS to learn about life! Twenty-four years later, I am STILL "going to school" every single day.......figuratively & literally. I've earned two more degrees since this picture: a M.Ed. & Ed.S. both from UGA (Go Dawgs!!) and I have just completed my 24th year working in the field of education, so that's the literal part. However, figuratively, I also continue to be "schooled" every single day in this thing called life. Lesson after lesson after lesson has been learned in my roles as a Christian, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend, an employee....well, you get the idea. Some of these lessons were easy while others have been VERY difficult! So, during this "graduate season," I think it's very fitting and timely to be reminded that we don't ever truly stop learning, nor should we want to! As life goes on, we begin to realize that it's one big spiral and connections are often made from past.....to present....to future. In fact, one day you may be uploading recent pictures from your camera and realize that old things become new again! In the picture above, I am the 22 year old college grad and my parents are 46 and 48. In the picture below, our college grad is 22....and my husband and I are both 46 (He's on his way to 47, but we'll let that part slide for now.) :) So, at the risk of sounding like a movie trailer for a Lion King sequel, it truly IS a circle of life! I haven't stopped learning yet, and I feel certain that our daughter will experience this same epiphany one day herself........in fact, she may have already figured it out! Until next time,
~Dot "Generations pass like leaves fall from our family tree. Each season new life blossoms and grows benefiting from the strength and experience of those who went before." ~Heidi Swapp This picture was taken in early 1992, just a few weeks after our daughter Chelsea was born. It is a very important picture to me because it documents the fact that Chelsea marked the fifth living generation maternally & paternally in our family. The three women behind my husband are his mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. In turn, the three women behind me hold those same spots in my life. We actually missed having three sets of 5 generations by a few months. My husband's other great-grandmother died while I was pregnant with Chelsea. It is incredible to me to think that Chelsea was surrounded by so much experience, strength, wisdom and love as a newborn baby! What an awesome gift! I DO remember this day very well because it was a rare occurrence to have all of these people in the same place at the same time. Also, because Chelsea was NOT having a good day. (Thus, my "harried" look of photo anxiety.) :) Three women in this picture have since left this earth, but their legacies live on with each generation that comes behind them! Thank you, God, for Chelsea's (and our son's) family tree! Until next time,
~D "I don't believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at." ~Maya Angelou My sister and I are 11 years apart. (Guess that's pretty obvious from the picture, huh? I'm the older one, by the way.) If you follow my blog at all, you know by now that I have a terrible memory. In fact, 95% of my "Monday Memory" posts are really not memories for me at all...and yet, I'm in the pictures! Weird! Well, THIS is one memory I DO remember VERY well. My great-aunts took us to Albany to an Olan Mills studio in order to surprise our Mama with this (and other) marvelous "portraits" (seen below) for Christmas. As you see, I have on a lovely valour pullover and a gold chain straight from one of their costume jewelry boxes. Clearly, I wasn't at the proper age to wear a stitch of makeup....what a shame. Heather, on the other hand, is just as pretty as can be. This was just moments before she threw up all of her baby formula covering the entire white smocked Feltman brothers dress she has on. .....or wait....maybe this is right AFTER the throw-up. That would explain our ridiculous "pose". (I mean, she's six inches shy of being UNDER the "carpet table"!) Anyway, as I recall, Mama WAS surprised on Christmas morning and loved the pictures. Guess that's all that counts. Yep, Maya Angelou was right......Sisterhood IS something that has to be worked at. It's definitely a continuous work in progress. Eleven years difference used to be a BIG chasm...now....not so much. We're just two adults......sharing an eternal bond......I'm sure she'd agree that some days are easier than others, but we're making it. Ah.....Olan Mills.....gotta love it. :)
Until next time, ~Dot "A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?" ~Albert Einstein Ever since I discovered this photo of myself some years back, I have always called it the "Crazy Dot" picture. I mean, seriously, what else would you call it?? Look at me...I look....well....crazy, right? As with many other "memories" I post, I have NO recollection of this moment in time. From studying the photo, here's what I DO know...... I'm squatting behind my Great-Aunt Mattie Bell. My Mama is holding my cousin, Taylor. Taylor is looking at me because I've clearly lost my mind! I'm holding a pink brush and, as usual, someone has decided to style my hair with those horrible pigtails...complete with plastic white barrettes.......oh, and let's not forget that ever-present MIDDLE-part! (why? WHY???) We're sitting on a lovely brown plaid couch (hello, 1970s!) having a grand ol' time. Quick question.....would someone please tell me why everyone else has on "day clothes" and I'm still sporting my PJs?? <heavy sigh....> Like I said......"Crazy Dot." I chose this picture as today's Monday Memory because I must admit that I kinda' feel like Crazy Dot looks. I think she's "crazy" in a good kind of way. You know, the "deliriously happy......so happy she just can't get herself together" kind of way. That sums me up today. You see, I work in a high school, and today marks the first official day of our Spring Break! Woohoo!! What are my plans, you ask? Here's the best part........I have NO plans!!! Crazy, right? I LOVE a vacation with no plans. I just do what I want....when I want...how I want. In fact, if you stop by my house this week, you may just see me in my PJs.......sportin' some pigtails...... (But you can forget that middle-part! That ain't happenin'!)
What are YOUR plans for the week? Don't really have any? Sweet! Those are the best kind! :) Until next time, ~Dot “Don't you wish you could take a single childhood memory and blow it up into a bubble and live inside it forever?” Well, referring to the quote above, I don't know about living in this particular memory forever. I mean..... it would appear that I don't have all of my teeth in this picture, and it also seems that I either need to let the hem out of those pants or invest in some a little longer. However, I DO have some very fond memories that go along with this picture. I loved this bike so much. Growing up, I lived next-door to my great-aunts, and this is their yard. That "bald patch" of yard behind me is where they parked the cars. For a long time, I was only allowed to ride my bike IN this yard or mine......but NEVER....EVER under any circumstances was I to go into the street. (It must be noted that our street was not THAT "busy", but I was protected to the max growing up!) I thought I was big stuff riding this bike.....with my little basket on the front. It also had a banana seat and, at one time, it had colorful streamer/tassel things hanging down from each handle, but apparently, they came off at some point. One day, I'm not exactly sure when, after much persuasion on my part, I was finally allowed to ride down the circular driveway <GASP!> into the street......and right back onto the other end of the driveway. I was probably on the actual street for a grand total of approximately fifty feet, but it was the most glorious fifty feet anyone could ever travel! I know it sounds ridiculous, but I'm telling you it was absolutely liberating! Well, those days are long gone, but anytime I embark on a new adventure in my life, I can still hear my great-aunts saying "you have GOT to careful, Dot! Folks are crazy in this world!" These are the memories that simultaneously make me smile and drive me nuts! Those precious women are all gone from this earth now, but I have to wonder......what would they say about this adventure................ Until next time,
~Dot "Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten." Today's "Monday Memory" is another one of my favorite pictures from my past. Notice I said "pictures" not "memories" because, once again, I have NO memory of this occasion. I'm not even sure exactly what's going on here. Here's what I DO know. This is a picture of me with my first cousins. Our parents are all brothers and sister. We look a little dressed up, so...hmmm....someone's birthday?.....a family reunion?........just not sure. The portrait behind us is of our Grandaddy. I see that it's just propped up on the back of the sofa, so I'm not sure if that was just done for this picture or if my Granny was still trying out different spots in the house before actually hanging it. I DO know that portrait is now hanging in a place of honor at Gammage Funeral Home in Cedartown, GA as he started that business many years ago and now my cousin Olin (far left in this picture) owns and operates the same family business as the third generation. I am SO immensely proud of him! In fact, I'm proud to call each person on this couch my family. I didn't grow up around them. I was just there for a visit, but I know we had plenty of fun when we DID get to be together. Unfortunately, we rarely see each other as adults....other than family funerals. I keep up with all of them as best I can via Facebook. I am so very thankful for this picture and yet another look into my childhood that I would not have remembered otherwise! Bottom line: These folks are my family and I will always love them. Who knows? Maybe, just maybe, we can have our own adult family reunion one of these days. Oh, if only Grandaddy could see us now! I hope he'd be proud. Until next time,
~Dot "What you have caught on film is captured forever… it remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything.” ~Aaron Siskind Anyone that knows me fairly well knows two things about me: 1) I love photography....and 2) I have a terrible memory. You may wonder what these two things have in common. It's quite simple, really. I believe pictures help fill in the blanks where our memories may fail us. I know for certain they do so for me! Recently, as I was digging around for old photos to scan for my parents' birthday tributes, I ran across lots of really fun "memories" from my own life. I use the term "memory" loosely here because, to be perfectly honest, I have absolutely NO memory of these moments, but because I had a great-aunt Polly who had the same passion for capturing moments in time as I have now, I will always have these images to fill in the blanks where my memory fails me. So, in an effort to honor those captured memories, I'm going to start posting a "Monday Memory" each week. It's my own personal twist on 'Throwback Thursdays.' :) This particular picture is of me and my first-cousins, Olin & Laura. We're all hanging out at my playhouse in my backyard in South Georgia. My Papa (from my other side of the family) built that playhouse and hauled it from one side of the state to the other side just for me. Olin & Laura must have come for a visit because they lived in yet another corner of the state. Maybe they came for my birthday? Really not sure. Anyway, I love this picture. I love my groovy outfit. I love my playhouse. I love my cousins. I'm so glad I have this picture. Otherwise, this moment in time would be long-gone and probably remembered by no one. Great-Aunt Polly (who lived next-door to me) has been gone from my life and this earth since I was in 5th grade, but I feel like she lives on in every one of these pictures. I truly feel like I'm seeing my own life through her eyes, and I am forever grateful to her! While I know my obsession with capturing every single moment in time gets annoying to those I'm with at times, it is my hope that one day someone will be just as grateful to be able to replay their lives through my eyes. :) Until next time, ~Dot There is such a special sweetness in being able to participate in creation. ~Pamela S. Nadav Exactly one month ago, I wrote a post explaining why I personally celebrate not one......or two.......but, rather, THREE BIRTH-days every year. Here's the link if you need to refresh your memory on my rationale: "It's My BIRTH-day! Well.....one of them..." Bottom line: I think Mamas need to take a few minutes to reflect on the days they GAVE birth as well as the day they were born themselves! Let's face it, BIRTH-days ain't easy! Am I right, Ladies?? Well, today's another one of those very special days in my life! February 28, 1995....the day we welcomed our sweet baby boy into the world 19 years ago! Now, I know you're disappointed, but I don't have any "graphic delivery room pics" for you this time. While Trey WAS a C-section delivery just like his older sister, we have no pictures from the actual procedure. However, I remember the day just as clearly as I remember Chelsea's birth! His due date was actually about two weeks later than this date, but, due to the size of his sister, it was decided that we would encourage James Michael Rutherford, III to arrive a little earlier in hopes he wouldn't be such a roly-poly. :) As you can see, even two weeks early he was 8 lbs. 10 oz., so there's no telling how big he could have been full-term! Isn't he just the sweetest little baby boy ever?! I mean, look at those leg rolls on 6-month-old Trey! Oh! I could just eat 'im up!! I have such wonderful memories of Trey growing up. He's always had quite the imagination and has been such a source of joy in our family. Take a look at some of his "theatrics" over the years.... See what I mean? SO much fun! It is very hard for me to believe that today begins the last year of Trey's teens. (Well, technically, he has just completed his last "teen" year because tomorrow he'll start his 20th year of life, but....whatever....) Anyway......... Seriously, as corny as it may sound (not to mention super-trite), it really DOES seem like we just brought him home to our little pink house on Myrtle Street a few years ago! I'm doing the best I can with this whole "roomy nest" thing, but really? I mean, REALLY??!! <heavy sigh> Yes, I guess the answer to that silly question is....Um....Yeah....really. So, today, instead of wallowing in my "I miss my Baby Bird" pity party, I'm choosing to celebrate the day I BIRTHED this incredible young man! Trey, as I look back at 19 years of your life, I want you to know that I am SO incredibly proud of you, and immensely honored to be your Mama! I don't care how old you get (or how feeble my mind becomes), "as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be!" Happy Birthday, my sweet Boy!
I love you! ~Mama A few months ago, I wrote a post here on my blog about my Daddy and the incredible story of his life. Here's the link if you missed it: "My Hero is the Strong, Silent Type" If you were fascinated by his story, you'll be just as interested in my Mama's story. I've been told by those closest to me that I'm "just like my Mama," and while it drives me nuts in some ways, I must admit that deep down I really do consider it a wonderful compliment because my Mama is probably the strongest, most courageous woman I have ever known! She has been through so much in her life and has faced every single bit of it head-on........with the strength of a true "Steel Magnolia"! She's turning 70 years old this week, and believe me when I tell you, she is still a force to be reckoned with! Let me explain........... "Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as Mary Louise Gammage was born in the back bedroom of this South Georgia home on February 23, 1944. She was the first-born child to a middle-class school teacher and funeral director. From the pictures I've seen, it's pretty clear that this beautiful baby girl was the apple of her Daddy's eye. Now, as far as I know, Mama was just your average baby girl, hitting milestones right on track...crawling, sitting up, walking, etc. In fact, I would love to know what her first "word" was. I'm betting it was "da-da", but no one ever told me for certain. At any rate, her language acquisition ceased to exist when she was 2 years old because she contracted a case of spinal meningitis that put her very close to death. After a frightful night of high fevers, seizures, and utter confusion, Mama lived, but her hearing was gone. We're not talking "hard of hearing" here. I mean at the age of 2, my Mama was 100% deaf. In 1946, I'm not sure anyone really knew what to do with a deaf child other than send her off to a school that specializes in teaching children with no language, but for Mama's family, "being deaf" simply wasn't an option! She would be "normal"....do normal things.... BE normal.......and for the next 10 or so years, that's exactly what Mama tried her best to do. Determination gives you the resolve to keep going in spite of the roadblocks that lay before you." ~Denis Waitley Mama is the first of four children. The only girl. She was born in '44. Her brothers, Lynn & Elliott, were born in '45 & '46, so these three spent lots of time together. Baby brother Phillip came along a few years later. Mama absolutely ADORES her brothers! Unfortunately, because of language barriers, any real communication between them has been extremely minimal over the years, but the love is there nonetheless. I believe my Grandparents wanted Mama to be "normal" so badly, that they just did their best to pretend she was! When you look at these pictures, you'd never know my Mama's world was completely silent. She has ALWAYS put a "happy face" to the world because that's what was expected. I think she WAS happy in many ways. She was given very elaborate birthday parties, the finest clothes, the neatest toys of the day, but she lived among hearing folks....understanding very little of what was being said or done around her. Because my Grandaddy was in the funeral business, they moved a couple of times in the early years. They lived briefly in Millen and East Point, GA before making their final move to a beautiful place called Cedartown, GA. My Grandaddy owned and operated Gammage Funeral Home, and they all lived upstairs. This is what it looks like now. It's had several renovations, but it's still a family business today, owned and operated by my first-cousin (he's the third generation!) Mama was 5 years old when they settled in Cedartown, and she went to public school from 1st - 8th grades. As an educator, I think it is very important to make sure you understand the situation. Mama could not hear. At all. Period. She "talked," but could not hear her own voice, so she had no concept of loud or soft....high or low...etc. She also had no idea how to pronounce words. She just tried her best to mimmick how it looked when she watched others say things. Over the years, out of sheer necessity, she learned to understand people through their personal gestures and by reading lips (which meant they needed to be facing her). Sometimes, she understood. Many times, she did not, but she just smiled & persevered anyway. There was no "504 plan", no IEP, no one-on-one special education class, interventions or strategies. She just went to school and did her best. It's all she knew. "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." ~Eleanor Roosevelt In 1958, Mama completed 8th grade. Up until this point, she had had one teacher per year, so she tells me it was bearable. She always sat in the front to be able to see the teacher's lips easier. She'd get used to the teacher. The teacher would get used to her. However, 9th grade meant "high school" and changing classes and lots of teachers. Sadly, there was resistance to having to "put up with" a deaf kid in class from some of the teachers at the high school, so another plan would have to be worked out. It was decided she would go and be a resident at the Ft. Lauderdale Oral School in Florida. Children from all over America were sent to this school. At that particular time, Mama was the only student from Georgia. Each student had hearing aids (absolutely useless to Mama), and were instructed on how to communicate orally. Communication via hand gestures of any kind was strictly forbidden. Candles were held in front of mouths. Certain sounds should blow out the candle....other sounds should leave the flame intact. I'm not exactly sure what the consequences were for creating the wrong sounds or using your hands to communicate, but I know Mama has very bad memories of this place. At the end of that first year, she came home and made it clear to her parents that she would NOT be going back. "A woman is like a tea bag - you can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water." ~Eleanor Roosevelt That same summer, back in Cedartown, Mama's hearing friend, Cathy, invited her to go swimming with her at this beautiful Spring a few miles up the road. Sure, Mama said. Why not? While they were swimming and sunbathing, Mama noticed this gorgeous "place" right across the street and asked her friend about it. If Mama understood Cathy correctly, it was a place where kids who couldn't hear went to learn.....people just like Mama....and they even had their own language! They used their hands to talk to each other! (I swear, I have heard this story a thousand times and I STILL cry every time I get to this part! It just brings me SO many mixed emotions each and every time!) Get this..... 11 1/2 miles from Mama's home, was this incredible place....... ....it had been right here......the whole time! The Georgia School for the Deaf in Cave Springs, GA! Now, I don't want to speculate too much here out of respect for my Grandparents. I'd give anything if I could talk to them now as an adult and find out why they kept Mama away from this place for all those years. Maybe they just couldn't bear the thought of sending their little girl away to live somewhere else. (I know I'd have an extremely difficult time doing such a thing!) Or maybe they just didn't think a deaf person could really hope for much of a future out in the real world, and therefore they wanted to help her be as "hearing" as possible. I guess I'll never know for sure, but I KNOW with great certainty that THIS was God's Plan for my Mama, because once she found this place..............truly a "Heaven on Earth" for her.............everything changed for Mama! "If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to Well, needless to say, Mama could not wait to get back home and tell her parents about this place.....where there were more people.......LOTS of people.......just like her! Seeing no other alternatives, they agreed to let her attend GSD, but only on a commuting status the first year. Mama jumped at the opportunity, and just absolutely blossomed! At the age of 15, Mama finally had a genuine smile on her face. She met plenty of deaf teens and got involved right away. She was a member of the basketball, track and softball teams. She participated in One Act Plays. She also learned American Sign Language and was finally able to fully express herself. (By the way, no one in her family ever learned ASL to be able to communicate with her in HER language.) Her teachers & classmates truly became her family. After that first year, she begged her parents to allow her to be a resident at the school and they allowed that as well. Take a look at her new life...... I believe the most important thing she did at the Georgia School for the Deaf was meeting a handsome young man named Kerry Thomas in 1961. He'd been on this campus for 14 years (as opposed to her 2 years), but the two had an undeniable attraction to each other. As I said earlier, Daddy's story is quite different from Mama's, and yet just as fascinating! The link to his story is at the top of this post. They were predestined by our God to be together. The explanation is just that simple. Mama graduated from GSD in May of 1966 and the two married on July 9 of that same year. I wish I had a wedding picture to show you, but I don't because they eloped. They went over to Aiken, SC (because according to them "you didn't have to wait as long as in GA for a marriage license and there wasn't a bloodtest!") However, Mama has always told me that she married in the same dress she graduated in...a pretty white dress with a pink ribbon tied at the waist. I was so excited to find a picture that I think may be the famous graduation/wedding dress! :) Mama & Daddy started their married life in Augusta, GA. Living an independent life was extremely important to them. Mama worked at C & S Bank as a proof reader and Daddy was a type setter at a printing press company. Then, in March of 1968, they had a a baby (that would be me)...a hearing one! (which really shouldn't have been a surprise to anyone since neither of them were deaf due to genetics, but rather to external circumstances, but I think folks were concerned.) :) There were several moves over the next few years.....Augusta to Cedartown to Chamblee, and then finally, in 1970, the three of us moved one more time to a little town called Sylvester, GA and lived most of my childhood in a house right next-door to the very house Mama was born in 26 years earlier. Mama had several jobs over the years including bookkeeping at our local hospital, floral design at a family-owned florist, and finally as a keypunch inventory operator at the US Marine Corps Logistics Base in Albany, GA where she worked diligently for the next 29 1/2 years. Throughout the '70s, '80s & '90s, Mama worked hard for her family and was also very dedicated to her church and our God. She and Daddy attended Byne Memorial Baptist Church where there was a significant deaf ministry. Mama was an active member of WMU, taught her Sunday School class, and helped organize the monthly newsletter for the deaf. She was also an active member of the GAD (Georgia Association of the Deaf) and was the Director of the Miss Deaf Georgia Pageant for two terms. In July 1979, she became a Mama for the second time as we welcomed my baby sister into the world! Yes, she can hear, too (in case you're wondering). :) Well, our family rocked on quite well for a decade or so....just doing the normal family stuff. Then, a significant event happened in February 1993, and nothing about our family was ever the same. Daddy had a major brainstem stroke, and it ravaged his body. Mama would now have to draw from an even deeper strength than she had ever tapped into before. "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong." ~Audrey Hepburn Mama continued to work at the Marine Base as long as she could during the day, and came home and took care of Daddy every night. Daddy is a very big man, and became pretty much dead weight from the severe paralysis. Again, you can read all about Daddy's specific physical struggles on the other post, but suffice it to say that the last 20 years have NOT been easy for Mama & Daddy! In 2006, Mama decided it was time to retire from her job and give Daddy her complete attention. I wasn't able to attend her retirement luncheon, but when I read the accomplishments that are listed on the program above, I was very impressed and extremely proud of her hard work! In 2011, Daddy had a second round of smaller but still very serious strokes. My sister and I decided it was time to pack our parents up and move them closer to one of us. So, we packed up 45 years worth of independent life and moved them to North Georgia. They now live right here in the same town with me, and I see them several times a week. I have watched Mama continue to dedicate her life to my Daddy. The love those two share is absolutely amazing. It's so incredibly strong and such a wonderful example of what "for better or worse....in sickness and in health" really means. So, there you have it. The life of Mary Louise Gammage Thomas thus far. My beautiful Mama. (Seriously, don't you think she's a gorgeous woman?) She's a devoted wife, a mother of two, a grandmother of three, and I hope this post has in some small way given you a picture of how immensely proud I am of her and all she has accomplished in her life. If you've read all the way down to this point, I thank you from the bottom of my heart! Yes, it's a long story, but, like my Daddy's, it's real....and inspiring.....and definitely worth the time it took for me to write it! Even with everything my Mama has been through in her life, I have NEVER, not once, seen fear or hopelessness in her (other than when we almost lost Daddy in 1993). She is such a strong Christian woman with an immense faith in our God. She simply will NOT give up......ever! Like I said, she's a force to be reckoned with! She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. ~Proverbs 31:25 So, here's the question.....is there a "Steel Magnolia" in your life? Do you have the opportunity to tell her how important she is to you? If your answers are "yes"...and "yes", I encourage you to let her know! None of us are promised tomorrow, so make the most of today! So with that said, Mama, I want you to know that I am awed by you! You have lived an incredible life and are an amazing example of the kind of woman I strive to be....selfless, strong, and full of courage. I thank you for giving me life and taking such incredible care of Daddy! I wish you the happiest of birthdays this year and many more to come! I love you, Mama! Until next time, ~Dot UPDATE- Mama's soulmate entered Heaven's Gates on April 12, 2016, but HER story doesn't end there. My sister and I promised our Daddy that we would love Mama and take care of her the same way she loved and took care of him, and we intend to do so for all her birthdays to come! We love you, Mama! You are truly our inspiration! There is such a special sweetness in being able to participate in creation. ~Pamela S. Nadav As a Mama, I feel like I have three BIRTH-days every year...of course, my own, but, the older I get, I consider the days my children came into this world as milestones for me as well! I mean, come on, fellow Mamas out there, who remembers the day better...you or your new bundle of joy?? I daresay that whatever your experience was, YOU recall MUCH more of that special BIRTH-day than that sweet baby did! So, here's to all us Mamas in the world, and, today, I'm celebrating one of my very special BIRTH-days! The arrival our precious baby girl! Sorry. I know this picture is a bit graphic, but I absolutely LOVE this shot! On this date twenty-two years ago, I was strapped down (literally!) to an operating table (C-section), so I didn't get to hold her until much later on in the morning. They brought her around the curtain to let me see her, and this is my very first look. Chelsea's fist is under her chin, already showing that strong "This is how I roll" attitude! (No, I didn't take this picture...neither did my husband! He was a bit shaky himself!) I'll never forget the moment that I was finally able to hold her! (I had to be able to feel that pin they kept pricking my lower extremities with before they would take me back to my room, and that took forever! Ugh!!) Anyway, I looked at her, and in a very regular "adult voice" (I've never talked "baby talk" to our children), I said "Hey, Chelsea!" She looked straight into my eyes (and right on into my soul) and the look she gave me said "Okay, I'm here....now what?" Well, we've eaten a lot of cake over the years, and done plenty of celebrating, but admittedly, not every day has been one that we've felt like partying. Very recently, I have witnessed firsthand the amazing strength, courage, and determination within our daughter, and I am immensely proud of her! I can't wait to see how her life is going to continue to unfold in her 20s......30s......and beyond! So, today, we raise our mini-cupcakes in honor of another year of life for our sweet Chelsea. Chelsea, if I could remind you of one thing on this 22nd birthday of yours, it's these very famous words of Aibileen Clark (from "The Help"): "You is kind. You is smart. You IS important." I don't care how old you get (or how feeble my mind becomes), "as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be!" Happy Birthday, my Girl!
I love you! ~Mama "Family is the most important thing in the world." ~Princess Diana So, we made it through Christmas holidays, and just like that, our nest is...ahem..."roomy" again. (If you're joining me here for the first time, let me bring you up to speed...I simply cannot discuss the idea of an "empty nest", so I prefer to embrace the term "roomy nest".) Even though there were some seriously emotional times to sort through over the holidays, we WERE able to enjoy our time together under one roof for a few days and for this I am extremely thankful. Toward the end of our time together before one of the birds flew back out of the nest, I got really sentimental and, sure, okay, maybe a bit sappy. The point is, I decided I wanted a picture of the four of us together in the same place at the same time before my babies left us again. I'm a big fan of "then & now" side-by-sides, depicting the passing of time, so I decided I wanted to re-do a picture of us that was taken on our back porch right after we moved into our house in 2003. So, my family humored me and allowed it to happen. Take a look.... Really cool, huh? Yeah. I think so, too. That's the same chair, too, so it really IS a true picture of how much our son has grown over the years. Our daughter, on the other hand, made the discovery that she really hasn't gotten any taller since she was 11. Bless her heart! :) "Family is not an important thing. It's everything." I don't know about you, but I get VERY sentimental when I start thinking about how much my baby birds have grown and changed over the years...especially when I start pulling out the photo albums! So, without further ado....I'd like to invite you to pull up a chair and see the transformation of my family over the last 20+ years. I think you'll agree that our children aren't the only ones who have "evolved" over the years! (Click on the big picture to start the slideshow!) Here's the bottom line.....this Mama Bird LOVES her nest! Sure, the nest has changed a little...okay...a lot....over the last 6 months, but these three people are everything to me! They have brought much joy into my life, and I love every moment I am blessed to spend with them! I'm already looking forward to seeing them on their turf very soon and hearing all about the latest news in their lives! Happy 2014 from our nest to yours!
~Dot "Christmas is not a date. It is a state of mind." ~Mary Ellen Chase It's no secret. Christmas is here. Let's be honest. It's been here since they put the Halloween candy away at WalMart. I used to love the Christmas season. As a child, it was simply a magical time of year for me. However, I have to be honest. It's no longer "the warmest time of the year" for me. I'm not sure exactly when it changed in my heart, but well, it has. Now don't get me wrong! I am a Christian woman.....VERY strong in my faith, and I thank my God DAILY for sending His Son to pay the ultimate price for my sins. So, in that regard, I guess you could say I celebrate Christmas every...single...day of my life. (We couldn't have Easter without Christmas!) He IS my Savior...and without question my Hope! It's the "other stuff" associated with Christmas that really makes me stop and try to make sense of it all. So, as I was trying my best to be festive over the last few days and get our house in some semblance of "holly jolliness" before family arrives soon, God (in His always right-on-time Wisdom) talked to me as I was decorating our living room....specifically, our mantle....and our tree. "It's true, Christmas can feel like a lot of work, particularly for mothers. But when you look back on all the Christmases in your life, you'll find you've created family traditions and lasting memories. Those memories, good and bad, are really what help to keep a family together over the long haul." We've never had a "gorgeous, Southern Living" tree. By that, I mean, the ornaments haven't all been "uniform" nor matching. No real "color scheme" or theme to speak of. Our tree has evolved over the years of our marriage. It is truly a potpourri of ornaments we have acquired over time.....some mark specific milestones in the life of our family, like these... Others have sentimental meaning, like these.... ......and then of course, there are ones like this that make me cry every single year when I unwrap them as I am instantly transported to that magical time in my life all over again! Well, as I hung each ornament on our tree the other day, God said(so clearly it was almost audible!), "Look at this! You have a rich, full life, Dot. I have given you SO many blessings! Every year new, additional ornaments are hung on the tree. What does that tell you? I'm not done with your tree, Dot. I have big plans for your family. There are more 'ornaments' on the way! Do you trust Me?" My response: "Yes Lord, but here's the deal...." "......God, you know I love my children more than anything in this world! I would do anything....ANYTHING..... to protect them. I know they aren't babies sitting on Santa's knee anymore, but I'm still their Mama! Now, I know none of this comes as a surprise to you, God, but lately, there are people....self-professed Christians.... who have hurt my children! It's not fair, God! Christmas is a time for Christians to celebrate, yes, but also to be reminded of what we are all about ---- love. The Love of Jesus. Unconditional, sacrificial love. It's difficult to sing about "chestnuts roasting on an open fire" right now when my children have been hurt....deeply! Help me understand, God, please!" Well, there wasn't any big clap of thunder or a chorus of angels if that's what you're waiting to hear. In fact, I didn't hear anything right then at all. I thought perhaps I had stumped God. Ha! Silly me! "I don't think Christmas is necessarily about things. It's about being good to one another, it's about the Christian ethic, it's about kindness." You see, I keep thinking about the Golden Rule. You know how it goes, right? "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I have also thought of it this way lately...."Do unto my children as you would have me do unto yours!" Sadly, the ADULTS that are involved are, at times, more of a battle than their children! The problem is this....I love the people my children bring into our lives. I embrace our differences. I welcome them with open arms. It's just my nature. It's how I was raised. I believe that's what God wants us to do, so I just continue to do that. I am praying diligently for God to change my heart and take away the bitterness that's starting to set up shop in there. I don't like it. It's toxic and totally counterproductive to peace and joy. Guess what? Good news! Turns out, my children are bouncing back, and it's God's Doing. I know it is. That's the only explanation. Our son? Well, he's moved on....focused on what brings him joy. He is such a positive soul, and he simply refuses to succumb to anything that has negative energy. I am constantly learning things simply by observing his actions. He brings me abundant joy every single day! Our daughter? Now, that's definitely a harder mountain to climb, but she's doing it! Folks have come out of the woodwork to show her (and us!) how much they love and respect her these last several days. The hurt is very deep and has caused much unnecessary pain that won't be gotten over in a day or two, but she WILL make it and she'll be stronger than ever! Of this, I am certain. I am SO very proud of her for continuing to draw on her own faith to get her through this dark and uncertain time. She truly is an inspiration to me! I am awed by her strength and courage! So, you see, even though there are some very fresh wounds in our home this Christmas, I'm digging DEEP to make it a "merry" one. We are going to do our very best to take a step back one holiday on the calendar........to Thanksgiving......when we placed emphasis on being truly thankful for our blessings. Thank you, God, for reminding me that You're still working on my Christmas tree. Yes, I DO trust You! You promised me in Jeremiah 29:11, and I'm continuing to claim that promise, not only for me, but for my precious children as well! "I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year." ~Charles Dickens So, what about you? Are you focused on a Merry Christmas? I hope so, but can I make a suggestion? Make sure it's not about the "stuff." Focus on the "ornaments" in YOUR life. Thank God for those blessings, and draw strength and hope from them. Most importantly, thank Him for the greatest gift He could ever possibly give us, His Son--our Savior, the Prince of Peace! Merry Christmas from our home to yours, ~Dot |
AuthorHi! I'm Dot. I refuse to succumb to the "empty nest syndrome"! So, this is my journal.....my photo album.....my attempt to enjoy the next chapter of my life as it unfolds. Welcome to The Roomy Nest! Archives
January 2020
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