"Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us." ~Mary Lucas (a character in Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice) I've recently completed this book for the very first time. I know what you're thinking......"It's a classic. Surely you had to read it in high school." Nope. Somehow, I missed this one along the way. Well, recently my husband and I watched a movie entitled "Becoming Jane," and it left me totally wanting more about the author Jane Austen. So, for once in my life, a movie was actually a catalyst for reading a book! (It's usually the other way around!) Now, I don't mind telling you that while I do love a good love story (which I was really banking on this being, by the way...), I had a very difficult time plowing through all of that "old-world language". I mean we're talking "Aye" this...and "Nay" that. I found myself re-reading paragraphs several times thinking....."what did that even mean?!" However, it didn't take me long to realize that Miss Austen has got some pretty witty bits of wisdom throughout this story, and I found myself wanting to hold a highlighter as I was reading in order to bring those ideas to the surface for further examination. The quote at the top of this post is just such an idea. I agree with Jane Austen. Some folks do consider the two terms synonymous, but, like her, I think they are quite isolated from each other. Allow me to explain.......... Let's start with the concept of "vanity." DISCLAIMER: I'm probably going to step on some toes here, but there are some things that just need to be said. (Don't worry. I step on my own toes later on in this post!) I fear that vanity has reached an all-time high among our society these days. There's nothing wrong with loving yourself. I get that. Truly I do! Low self-esteem is the worst! Everyone needs to feel special in his/her own way. However, from what I see these days, the problem isn't LOW self-esteem...it's an ABUNDANCE of self-esteem! Look familiar? Of course it does. In fact, the idea is so commonplace now that there's an entry in the dictionary for it! Okay, so everyone has done a "selfie" at one time or another in the last decade or so of social networking, but ...... come on....every single day??!! That's a problem! The more I think about it, though, I'm not sure if it shows an abundance of self-esteem or a serious lack of it. At any rate, I think it's ridiculous to have that much vanity. Pride is one thing. Sure, post that occasional selfie if you must, but being so vain that it's automatically assumed everyone else is waiting with extreme anticipation for your next selfie post is just too much. Jane (Austen) was right....vanity truly IS what we would have others think of us. The problem comes when others DON'T think of us the way we would hope. Take care not to push yourself onto others too much. You could do more damage than good. Let's move on to the idea of "pride" because this one can be problematic as well. According to Jane, pride also relates to how we feel about ourselves, which sounds a lot like vanity, right? The difference between the two is what you do with those feelings. She says that vanity obsesses over what OTHERS think while pride is more concerned with how we view OURSELVES. So, what about the selfie that was taken and posted because you want the world to see that you've worked hard and lost those extra 25 pounds? Is that okay? I say, absolutely! The problem comes when you post pics of that new body over...and over.....and over. That's when it would seem that the bridge has been crossed from the land of pride over to the land of vanity! As promised, allow me to step on my own toes for a second. I've become pretty well-versed in using this lately........ Yep......that's 'hashtag/proud mama.' I use it a lot at the end of a Facebook or Instagram picture post. As I really ponder the focus of this post though, I have to wonder........are people as tired of my "#proudmama" posts as I am of their duckfaced selfies? Maybe.......probably. I guess the only justification I have for myself is that I'm braggin' on my children....not myself. Does that make it okay? Honestly, I'm not sure, but I can tell you this for certain: NOTHING brings out the pride in me more than my children. They are, without question, my greatest accomplishments, and I cannot seem to stop myself from telling the whole world about their achievements. In fact, I'll go a step further and really tell the hard truth. I DO want others to know just how great I believe my children are! So, does that make me vain. Yes. Therefore, I'm just as guilty as the next guy. Ouch! My toes hurt! ;) Bottom line is this: Anything done in excess is not only repetitive and loses its significance, but it also gets on people's last nerves! So, go easy on the vanity...and the pride! Jane Austen was a very wise author, but so was C.S. Lewis! We would all do well to heed some of his wisdom as well: Let's be proud of ourselves (and our children)! Let's just try not to shout it from the social media rafters 24/7. Until next time, ~Dot P.S. ....but I really AM a #proudmama! Sorry.....old habits die hard! ;)
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AuthorHi! I'm Dot. I refuse to succumb to the "empty nest syndrome"! So, this is my journal.....my photo album.....my attempt to enjoy the next chapter of my life as it unfolds. Welcome to The Roomy Nest! Archives
January 2020
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