"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new." ~Socrates I have pondered this post long and hard over the last few days. Until just this morning, I had fully intended to use it as a vehicle to explain in vivid detail the reasons for my total emotional meltdown on Christmas Day. So, basically, I was planning to "fight the old" (see quote above). However, in light of what I can only assume is Divine Intervention from my God, I have decided to spare you the misery. (It wasn't pretty.....just ask my husband and children.) Nope, not pretty at all. So...I'm choosing to start this new year (after my three month hiatus from The Roomy Nest) discussing my new focus for 2015...... me. Sound selfish? Maybe. Here's the deal... "Ego says, 'Once everything falls into place, I'll feel peace.' Spirit says, 'Find your peace, and then everything will fall into place.'" ~ Marianne Williamson There are only a VERY small handful of people that might possibly be reading this that know me....really, truly know me. The rest of you don't. You may think you do, but you're wrong. You don't. I have always, always, always put everyone else before myself. From the earliest memories I have as a little girl, it's always been about making things better for others...... fixing things for others... doing for others.... my handicapped parents, my sister, friends, church. Nothing changed as I got older....just more folks added to that list....husband, children, extended family, work, community. I was taught at a very young age by the godly women that raised me to be selfless and "do for others." It was an expectation (and also a tad bit innate), therefore I did it. Period. Many times in my life it has brought me abundant joy. Other times, it has brought me immense resentment. (Just being 100% honest here.) Needless to say, along with resentment (and a whole grocery list of other negative emotions) comes a tremendous lack of peace in one's life. So..... for 46 years I have searched (and longed) for that seemingly unattainable peace. Now, hold on..... before you go preaching me a mini-sermon, please know this. I printed and framed this bit of Scripture years ago, and it has been a constant fixture in our kitchen ever since. I read it DAILY when I am standing at the sink, and there have been seasons of my life when I, quite literally, chanted it aloud as a continuous source of emotional strength to keep those pesky demons at bay. My God is, without question, my Ultimate Peace, and I long for the day that I get to experience it for all eternity with Him. Unfortunately, I'm still battling some demons here on earth, so my day-to-day inner peace seems to be a constant roller coaster ride. In fact, since my Christmas meltdown, I have asked my God to PLEASE give me some clear direction, and I believe He has, thus giving me a new sense of internal peace. For the first time in my life (In.My.Life.), I think God is giving me His Permission to put myself first. I'm hearing Him clearly say that it's okay to shift the focus.... to me. Wait....what??! This is quite foreign to me, and yet SO VERY LIBERATING!! I almost don't know where to start! I can tell you this.... we're not talking about an occasional "long soak in a bubble bath" kind of "me time." Nope. That's not what I'm thinking at all. No, this New Year's Day is bringing with it a brand-new guilt-free ideology. "Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy. If you aren't being treated with love and respect, check your price tag. Maybe you've marked yourself down. It's YOU who tells people what your worth is. Get off of the clearance rack and get behind the glass where they keep the valuables." ~Author Unknown (I LOVE that quote, by the way... A BIG fist-bump to "author unknown" for that one!) So, effective immediately, I resolve to be good to myself..... to give myself the same respect I have given everyone else. I'm going to take my own feelings into account when deciding if I'll do this or that. It may mean that I don't answer the phone when it rings. It may mean that I don't attend the event/gathering/get-together. It may mean that I <gasp!> say "no" when asked to do something of a volunteer nature. The key word here is "may" because I MAY say yes on occasion as well, but it'll be because I sincerely wanted to do so...not because of a ridiculous self-imposed obligation. I'm SO done with being used and tossed aside 'til next time. It's not a good feeling, and it just isn't something I'm willing to put up with any longer. Clearly, to get better I'm going to have to let go of some things that bring me down (WAY down) every single time I'm involved in them. I'm making that promise to myself right now. It may very well mean that some of my relationships shift (or even dissolve), but that'll be okay, too, because I believe God will use this to help me have an even clearer focus on the realities of my life. "Do your thing and don't care if they like it." ~Tina Fey This is my thing.... .....and some of this.... .....and, of course, this..... .....which sometimes produces this..... .....and, without question, these folks always bring me immense joy.... So, that's where I'll be focusing my energy this year. Who knows....I may even start another round of #100HappyDays, too. Yep, 2015.....definitely a year to look forward to! Happy New Year to you, but also......to me! ;) ~D
5 Comments
Selena Blankenship
1/1/2015 05:04:46 am
Love this post, and think I will follow suit. Happy New Years to you, my dear friend!
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Shawn
1/2/2015 02:34:21 am
This has been my personal philosophy most of my life. My mother lived out this example for my sister and me. People (including family) have noted how "selfish" I can be, but I would not live any other way. I applaud you going down this path. People will/may not understand the "new" you, but know every time I see you out and about, I am definitely cheering you on as you take care of you!!!!
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Julie
1/3/2015 03:46:55 am
This is a wonderful philosophy! I shared it with my mother, who shared it with her friends. Nothing but positive remarks from all!
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Michelle
1/5/2015 04:08:45 am
Simply put: you are AWESOME and an inspiration to me. :-)
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Lynn Vaughn
1/16/2015 04:18:11 pm
Beautiful. May 2015 be filled with plenty of wonderful moments, making for good days and great memories to last for many years to come. Hopefully we can struggle less to enjoy what comes easily to many. God bless!
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AuthorHi! I'm Dot. I refuse to succumb to the "empty nest syndrome"! So, this is my journal.....my photo album.....my attempt to enjoy the next chapter of my life as it unfolds. Welcome to The Roomy Nest! Archives
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